Ravnica — Earlier today, Living Guildpact Niv-Mizzet made the historic and highly rare decision, even among presumably left-wing politicians, to refuse to ban transgender women from various sporting competitions in Ravnica, leaving the very small and astroturfed anti-transgender lobby in Ravnica (and no one else) both angry and confused. Niv-Mizzet’s…
Washington, D.C. – In an attempt to push as many pet projects through while they control the government, Republican politicians like Robert F. Kennedy Jr. have been creating new initiatives and bills to alter the political landscape. RFK Jr. was mentioned specifically due to a new press release where he…
BENIHANA, SHORT HILLS, NJ — A hibachi chef reached his professional breaking point on Monday after a Magic playgroup took advantage of a slow night to play Commander at his table. Chef Joseph Morimoto is a local icon and tenured hibachi chef at the Benihana in the town’s strip mall.
With the upcoming release of Marvel: Darkhold Destiny, many are asking, “What even is a Darkhold?” The book has a long history full of dark magic, eldritch horror, and ancient mysteries. However, one of its most prominent users claims that understanding the grimoire is actually very simple. …
MAHWAH, NJ — A local game store’s Friday Night Magic was ground to a halt last night after a reanimated Darklight Phoenix revealed some, shall we say, concerning stains on one gamer’s playmat. When Derek Johnson arrived at The Card Emporium last night, he had a new Standard deck in…
Sylvania, OH – Local man and Magic: The Gathering reporter Jon Ruggiero claimed he had a great idea for a Standard deck that will blow away his Friday Night Magic competition even though the same deck barely made a dent in the Arena meta when he played it online. Ruggiero…
Balemurk, Duskmourn — Pop singer Kelly Clarkson continues her social media rampage, now setting her sights on the great demon of The House who rules over all of us and harvests our terrors as sustenance, Valgavoth. Following a short trip all the way from the Mistmoors to the Below, the…
Ao3, the World Wide Web — Following Friday’s announcement of yet another Marvel Magic: The Gathering set, while many people are talking about important things, like how this is the third Marvel set in as many years while actual Magic-original planes barely get seen, or how the art and theming…
STAMFORD, CT – Labor rights are being brought to the forefront of gamers minds at a local game store after the girlfriends of players registered for the local Friday Night Magic tournament banded together in their common interests and threatened a strike if their demands weren’t met. Samantha Martin, the…
Earlier this week, the teams behind Dungeons and Dragons and Wizards’ paper TCGs announced their intent to form a union with CWA. To help understand the implications behind this move, we here at the Commander’s Herald have put together this helpful guide. CLAIM: Wait, didn’t you already do an article…
Rainbow skeletons art by moveslikekeef BEIJING – In a shocking upset, traditionally strict Chinese Censors have seemingly overlooked a massive number of skeletal LGBTQIA+ Magic: The Gathering cards included in the upcoming Reality Fracture set. With a proud history of removing skulls…
Mount Moriah – People. Please listen. Withhold your judgment. Understand that I, Abraham, sacrifice my son upon this mountain for more than one reason. Many reasons, in truth. For I need to get right with God. But if it shall come to pass that I receive His favor and pull…
Toledo, OH – Local game store Brain Games hosts a weekly Commander night to encourage Magic: The Gathering players to congregate and test their Commanders against each other. However controversy has shadowed a recent Commander night after a player was accused of letting a deck “play itself” with…
HENDERSON, NV — A local 2/2 warrior token reached out to us to announce he’d be making his Friday Night Magic debut this season. After half a decade sitting unused in a box of lands, tokens, and commons, the warrior was finally added to Luca Davin’s token pile…
CIRCLE IX: TREACHERY – Known cool guys Citadel Acquisitions purchased a majority share in Card Kingdom earlier this year, but state they have still not received their purchase. Citadel, a subsidiary of ZelnickMedia Corporation whose website describes them as “Creating value through thought leadership” whatever the fuck that means, are…
Washington, D.C. – Well-regarded polling organization Quinnipiac University released a startling report this week that the current number of Americans registered to vote in the upcoming midterm election is less than the number of Magic: The Gathering cards that were printed with the Legendary supertype this year. Such a report…
Hexhaven Academy Tower — Recently, “The Theorist,” Jace Beleren, made the somewhat dubious claim that he has created, or is intending to create, a Multiverse without suffering. Given the extremely impressive nature of that claim–so much so that it is one that many are struggling to believe–we at the Commander’s…
Duluth, MN – Due to shipping delays local game shop Rob’s Collectables and Geekery is worried they will not receive cards from Magic: the Gathering‘s upcoming set Reality Fracture even though the prerelease events are supposed to begin this weekend. However, owner and proprietor Rob Grandview is still running a prerelease…
(Spoiler warnings for Reality Fracture’s story, but honestly at this point you should have read it anyway because it’s really damn good. Also some cartoon about a clown and a rabbit or something.) Seattle, WA — Following the emotionally powerful finale of Reality Fracture’s story, the dozens have…
THE ORPHAN KILLING MACHINE – Corporate champions of the working class Wizards of the Coast & TCGplayer are being praised for organizing a small Magic tournament this week with the goal of raising funds for those who need it most, their workers. The event, advertised with depressing commercials of trading…
Mahwah, NJ – A new AI-powered deck-builder is facing criticism this week, after Magic players say it became obsessed with preparing their decks for one specific threat: carpenter bees. As AI assistants have become widely adopted, many Americans are turning to them to help with…
WASHINGTON, DC — Senator Mitch McConnell’s long-awaited return from his controversial absence has sparked new debates among Magic scholars this week over what the appropriate creature-type classification should be for the undead Senator. The debate centers on a seemingly simple question: Is McConnell a zombie, animated by forces beyond his…
WASHINGTON, DC — In a press conference earlier today, the United States Department of Education announced they would be hiring The Theorist, the fragment of Jace Beleren’s persona responsible for the failed creation of the Echoverse, to help remove some of the more “un-American” parts of the nation’s history books.
Tenth District, RAVNICA – New York City plane politician Zohran Mamdani, in a show of respect for his new friend the living guildpact Niv-Mizzet, took an omenpath to honor a newly-created memorial documenting the Phyrexian Invasion. The visit comes on the day of 9/11, a tragic event in the now-ubiquitous…
“The multiverse within my brain is more divided than ever,” Jace mumbles at me before wiping away a tear and continuing, “and the only person who understood that was gone.” The “man” known as The Theorist sat before me. A grimace spread across his features as he…
INNISTRAD – Emrakul, the Eldrazi titan responsible for invading Innistrad, Zendikar, and some amount of planes we can’t list because they now never existed, released a statement this week confirming her legal team’s efforts to secure a parole hearing. “As an extraplanar being unbounded by time, I have spent the…
RENTON, WA — Garry Purvis, better known as the Magic: the Gathering content creator Grixis.Garry, has found himself embroiled in his second controversy in as many days. On Monday, after Purvis was announced as an MtG Ambassador for Reality Fracture, multiple female content creators took to social media with allegations…
