Tragic: Warrior Token Doesn’t Realize He’s Only in Deckbox for Treasure on Other Side
HENDERSON, NV — A local 2/2 warrior token reached out to us to announce he’d be making his Friday Night Magic debut this season. After half a decade…
HENDERSON, NV — A local 2/2 warrior token reached out to us to announce he’d be making his Friday Night Magic debut this season. After half a decade…
Wizards of the Coast recently announced Dungeons and Dragons Universes Beyond, a product guaranteed to have fans Googling “what the hell are those Spider-Man D&D books called again?”…
WASHINGTON D.C. — A representative of the Democratic Party issued an official statement on Jace Beleren, the controversial mage currently tearing the multiverse apart. Despite…
PATUCKET, RI– According to reports from Hasbro Headquarters, their new AI model trained to play Dungeons and Dragons has gone rogue. Having gained access to the United States nuclear codes,…
Recently, my 25-year-old nephew has been incessantly whining about the so-called “cost of living,” and I’ve just about had it. His social media is full of complaints about…
SEATTLE, WA — To coincide with the upcoming Universes Beyond: Marvel Super Heroes, Wizards of the Coast has announced a very special homage to Marvel Comics History. They…
COPENHAGEN — Novo Nordisk, the pharmaceutical company that produces Ozempic, has been sued by the elder dragon Arcades, the Strategist. The Dragon claims that the company has…
A new book about the plane of Arcavios, which hosts Strixhaven Academy, is set to be released alongside Secrets of Strixhaven this April. Minutiae of Arcavios…
HOLLYWOOD, CA – After a bidding war with Netflix, Paramount is poised to acquire legacy media giant Warner Bros. This would give the company a massive share of…
With the world slipping towards a more fascist-friendly version of Mad Max, it can be hard to stay positive. Pop culture and cute animals…
As Magic: The Gathering’s number one thirst trap, Oko has warped the game’s horny meta. Perfectly uniting the hunk green archetype with the blue…
CHEYENNE, WY – Local Magic player, Jay Nicolosi, claims he experienced a supernatural phenomenon during the recent Lorwyn Eclipsed prerelease event. Much like the…
The new year is upon us. It’s time to self-reflect and work on addressing our flaws as people and, more importantly, Magic players. For those of you looking to net deck…
ST. CLOUD, MN – Cuffing season is upon us. The time of year when the nights grow longer and colder, pushing people to seek solace in romantic couplings.
OMAHA, NE – Local father and D&D player Phillip Grossman reportedly fell into a midlife crisis after an incident at his son’s birthday. Suffering a humiliating defeat at…
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Technology Information Consultants CEO John Rogers has revealed that he is preparing an ally typal deck in preparation for next June. The deck is…
Kowabunga! A rules announcement from Wizards of the Coast has clarified that none of the creatures in the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles set…
Dear Commander’s Herald, How do I convince my doctor that life is just a resource? He insists that I should be exercising, eating healthy, and taking…
The final season of the hit Netflix show Stranger Things is set to release in November, but a new leak has spoiled the show’s…
St. Paul, MN — Local Pokémon fan Alex Griffith drew attention at his local game shop, Fully Evolved Games, when he pulled a small shredder out of his…
New York, NY– Daily Bugle photographer Peter Parker recently sat down with us to discuss his disappointment over the pricing of Magic: The Gathering’s upcoming Spider-Man set. Known…
FRESNO, CA — 62-year-old Jimmy Sie runs a produce stand outside of his local game shop. For over a decade, he has made his living selling fresh fruits…
The spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism has weighed in on one of life’s most important theological questions: why are some people trapped as forever Dungeon Masters? While the…
In an effort to keep fans focused on their upcoming Universes Beyond sets, Wizards of the Coast has made the decision to rotate Edge of Eternities out of…
Following up on the success of The One Ring, Wizards of the Coast has decided to introduce another unique 1 of 1 card in the…
As the world debates the existence of the Gen Z stare local stax player Jack VanBundy has weighed in to report his experience with the blank, disinterested gaze…
After receiving a vague text from his friend a local man is unsure if he’s agreed to play the party game Coup or if…
A local Dungeons and Dragons party has remained divided about who the campaign’s BBEG (Big Bad Evil Guy) is. This division was expected to…