As Magic: The Gathering’s number one thirst trap, Oko has warped the game’s horny meta. Perfectly uniting the hunk green archetype with the blue twink identity, he’s the ultimate fae fantasy, particularly for queer Magic fans like me. With his…
As Magic: The Gathering’s number one thirst trap, Oko has warped the game’s horny meta. Perfectly uniting the hunk green archetype with the blue twink identity, he’s the ultimate fae fantasy, particularly for queer Magic fans like me. With his…
Olympic hopeful and Magic: The Gathering hobbyist Amber Glenn has reportedly asked other skaters in the women’s 300 meter downhill event she will be competing in if they’d be OK splitting the gold medal if they get to the final round. Glenn, who is planning on skating to a Turbo-Fog-themed…
LYNCHBURG, VA — Following a string of controversies, walk-backs, and general fan animosity surrounding their parent company’s recent contracts with ICE, ReedPop announced earlier this week that they would be creating a separate event “catering to a more Patriotic crowd that don’t feel as welcome as they should…
SEATTLE, WA — Chaos and calamity struck a typically peaceful community potluck Wednesday evening when a food fight erupted amongst a group of local magic players confounded by the interaction of a 7-layer dip. What began as a simple question about how to eat the dip quickly escalated to insults,…
OREGON TERRITORY – The Magic community mourns the loss of a format this week, after Pioneer died of dysentery. “It is with heavy hearts that we announce that the Pioneer format passed away from dysentery last night,” Wizards of the Coast said on social media today,…
Albaquerque, NM – Local Twitch streamer Chance Edgerfell, more commonly known by the screen name ThatRealBl0ke, released a video of an attempt to speed run the post-apocalyptic sandbox game Fallout: New Vegas while waiting to purchase New Vegas Magic: The Gathering Secret Lair cards. The video, posted this past weekend…
PHYREXIA MINNESOTA – Americans are up in arms today after an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer fatally shot a Magic player who had nothing but an untapped Mountain on their person. According to officials, the kinda sorta law enforcement agent heroically murdered the hellbent player in cold blood because he had…
PROVIDENCE, RI — Late in January, a group of Hasbro shareholders sued the company, alleging that Hasbro had been overprinting Magic: the Gathering sets to hide losses elsewhere in the company. Since the announcement, a number of new rumors regarding the upcoming slate of Universes Beyond sets have started…
CHEYENNE, WY – Local Magic player, Jay Nicolosi, claims he experienced a supernatural phenomenon during the recent Lorwyn Eclipsed prerelease event. Much like the creatures of Lorwyn, as soon as the sun set, Niolosi’s deck suddenly turned bad. “The afternoon prerelease started…
Irvine, CA — Many fans of Sonic the Hedgehog and Magic: The Gathering were excited for rumors of a second Sonic Secret Lair Superdrop, but now find themselves confused at the announcement of the new cards. “I’m not an expert on Sonic lore by any means,” explained Reddit user MommyVanillaPlease,…
GURNEE, IL — A fervor has fallen over local game store Riverside Comics and Games, as local Pokemon Shiny Hunter and newfound TCG collector Miguel Norton had gone to extraordinary lengths to try and open a foil card. “I’ve seen some weird superstition and gamesmanship over the years for people…
Ah, competitive EDH. That rush of topdecking exactly what you need, the thrill a well-timed board wipe, watching your opponents squirm just enough to feel powerful. Heart racing, hands sweaty, mind calculating five moves ahead. You know that it’s “just a game” but golly, sometimes it feels personal.
HEARTHHULL — Seedship Scientists studying local Lorewyn flora have made a shocking announcement in a paper published in Magical Nature. A new invasive species of turtle was discovered wreaking havoc on the local wildlife. Lys Alana representatives have refused to comment on the matter,…
MANHATTAN, NY – A handful of fortunate Magic players were surprised this past weekend while opening their Lorwyn Eclipsed prerelease kits to find something from outside of the set entirely: living box turtles stuffed inside with serial numbers stapled to them. This latest promotion feels like a slap in the…
UPDATE: Wizards of The Coast has revealed that an upcoming Secret Lair product will not only contain new Fallout cards based on the Amazon TV show, but also reprint cards from the previous Universes Beyond set. We were blind to think that Wizards wouldn’t take an opportunity to make piles…
Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin Local Pokémon Trading Card Game player and collector Stu Vogel was shocked to see a Walmart shelf fully stocked with Pokémon Mega Evolution Phantasmal Flames Elite Trainer Boxes. Collectibles like these have been in the news as the rarity of certain products from Japan and their…
Gainesville, FL–A local friend group has been pushed into unfriendly discourse as debate rages over which Intellectual Property the new Magic the Gathering set is from. “I started playing for Final Fantasy Avatar, and I recognize Sonic the Hedgehog Cronos from God of War, but when I saw…
Tomb Raider. Doctor Who. Iron Maiden. Furby. For the past few years, Magic: the Gathering’s Secret Lair initiative has begun incorporating properties spanning the spectrum of the niche interests many Magic players hold dear into the game. With their latest collaboration, Wizards of the Coasts has decided to…
Mount Pleasant, WI – Confusion and anger plague local residents after “the world’s most powerful” AI datacenter was recently built within the city, which has caused a massive drain on many of the town’s resources. The need for cooling at the Microsoft’s auspiciously-named Fairwater datacenter has gotten so severe that…
BROOKLYN, NY — The Magic: the Gathering world has been abuzz since last week, following growing speculation your deck’s favorite card is about to be traded. “I’ve been in this deck for many years, but I don’t feel I have the titles to show for it. I only have so…
The new year is upon us. It’s time to self-reflect and work on addressing our flaws as people and, more importantly, Magic players. For those of you looking to net deck your personality, we’ve assembled some resolutions to help you briefly improve before going back to your usual vices in a…
Poughkeepsie, New York — After sitting through the latest 5 1/2 hour video by Youtuber Spice8Rack about the plane of Segovia and the nightmares of late-stage capitalism, local MtG player and college student Walter Doran decided to sit down and read through the theories of Karl Marx. “Oh. Oh, aww…
Hi there, reader! I’m Dr. Foxglove, and I’m a new addition to the Commander’s Herald. I talk about things like death, sex, and trauma; and I use Magic: the Gathering to help me do it. It would make sense, then, that our…
Iver Heath, England — Photographs taken by bystanders outside of Pinewood Studios near London purport to show the Hulk defeating Doctor Doom after stepping into a field of iron spikes. This is believed to have been added recently after one of Avengers: Doomsday’s many, many late rewrites. A source near…
Christmas is right around the corner, and we here at Commander’s Herald know how stressful budgeting can be this time of year. After 6 Standard Legal sets and licensing-led price increases, with 7 more on the way next year, many are struggling with how to afford gifts. Thankfully, we have…
WASHINGTON, DC – Rejecting demands from Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, Hasbro will continue to sell the iconic Battleship board game with a full rulebook included. This latest clash between the Trump administration and the private sector began after Arizona’s senior Senator Mark Kelly “humiliated”…
ST. CLOUD, MN – Cuffing season is upon us. The time of year when the nights grow longer and colder, pushing people to seek solace in romantic couplings. But one local man has found another way to cope with his loneliness during the winter months: Cube Draft. …
EVERYWHERE, THE INTERNET — This past week yet another phenomenon happened in the greater Magic: The Gathering news cycle. Mere hours after releasing their planned second chapter for Lorwyn Eclipsed, a multiversal sized shadow was cast over the set’s moment when the first round of Marvel Super Heroes…
