At MagicCon Amsterdam, Wizards of the Coast announced the return of its Hall of Fame. Once a mainstay of the competitive scene, the Hall was suspended during the pandemic, and finally making a return for 2026. To help our readers understand the new Hall of Fame and the new…
Amsterdam, Netherlands–We here at The Herald have a powerful drive to cover breaking Magic: the Gathering news as soon as it is released to the public. We also have a corporate expense card we regularly charge to attend events under the guise…
Hi there. My name is Red Pixlh3art, and I write for the Commander’s Herald. I’ve been playing Magic since around 2017, I fell in love with Commander first and have since gotten into limited and cube, and I’ve primarily been a Mardu player. My first “real” commander was…
Boston, Massachusetts — At 6:45 PM on Friday, July 17th, local racist Buck Carson was taken to Beth Israel following what doctors suspect may have been a heart attack. Sources close to Carson say that his potential heart attack was quite possibly caused by viewing Friday’s Magic: The Gathering announcement…
Ship Bottom, NJ — Once dismissed as an irrational and baffling business policy, Ogre’s Hole’s strict “No Vegetables” rule has become an unlikely model of public health preparedness and diarrhea defense, as the local game store emerges as one of the few venues untouched by the ongoing Cyclospora outbreak.
San Francisco, CA — In 2373 on the formerly Cardassian space station Deep Space Nine in orbit around the planet of Bajor, Jake Sisko said the sentence that perfectly sums up humanity’s economic situation in the 24th century: “I’m human, I don’t have any money.” Of course, in 2026, we’ve…
THE INTERNET – Buzz has been expectedly loud around new cards that premiered at MagicCon: Amsterdam over the weekend, including cards from the highly-anticipated in-universe set Reality Fracture. Based around alternate versions of Magic: The Gathering characters and spells we know and love, Reality Fracture had some surprising reveals including…
On Friday, at MagiCon: Amsterdam, Wizards of the Coast announced the three upcoming in-universe Magic: The Gathering sets for 2027–and one of them is a combination of two planes we’ve seen before. Kamigawa, the plane heavily inspired by Japanese folklore and culture, and Ikoria, a plane largely dominated by powerful…
Chicago, IL — The groundbreaking of former president Barack Obama’s presidential library in Chicago’s South Side has been met with varying responses from both locals and liberals nationwide, ranging from cautious optimism, to anger, to abject terror. “Now, as much as I love our former president,” explain Bud Wickley, local…
WASHINGTON D.C. — A representative of the Democratic Party issued an official statement on Jace Beleren, the controversial mage currently tearing the multiverse apart. Despite his recent actions and controversies, the party plans to continue supporting the blue mage. They also implored Democratic voters to…
The new school year is right around the corner. If this sends a shiver down your spine as a parent, it may be because your child was one of the many who didn’t make it into this year’s class at Strixhaven, the premier academy of education on the plane of…
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — The Herald staff is proud to announce our brand new format, Herald Commander, where all unbans will be carefully selected to be fair, balanced, and also on our list of cards to sell. As a revolutionary new way to play Magic: The Gathering, Herald Commander will…
March 8, 2002, MtG Head Designer Mark Rosewater authored an article in his column Making Magic entitled “Timmy, Johnny, and Spike“, and the most annoying person at your LGS finally found something to base their entire personality…
THE ICU – After multiple rounds of meticulous setup, commander player MiChelle Yue executed a devastating Thanos turn yesterday followed by 45 minutes of unremarkable topdecks. Yue dropped Thanos, the Mad Titan and activated his ability on turn 4, destroying almost all of her opponents’ mana dorks and putting her…
Renton, WA – Outside the Wizards of the Coast headquarters today nearly a dozen protesters gathered to announce their objection to the new Marvel Super Heroes set and its inclusion of characters that represent openly fascist organizations like the fictional neo-Nazi terrorist group Hydra and the real life neo-Nazi terrorist…
NYC — The number of hit-and-runs in Legacy and Vintage continues to reach record highs as The Fantasticar remains street legal. With no clear end to the vehicular violence in sight, Eternal format players and pedestrian advocates alike are clamoring for something to be done before more lives are cut…
10. Box Art Depicting Trump On This Year’s US Men’s National Team for the World Cup Beautifully-generated art celebrating the team of winners who we’ll be cheering on as they dominate the worl…oops, never mind. 9. A Cheap Proxy of The Great Henge…
[Disclaimer: I’ve played all of Chapter 5, every specific spoiler in this article is a joke. Or maybe not. You’ll never know until you play it yourself.] Chicago, IL — Following the release of Deltarune Chapter 5, a large contingent of fans disappointed by other fans’ ability to keep their…
THE ROIL WOULD BE A SICK NAME FOR A GAY BAR – Omnath, Locus of All quietly reverted from a five colored legendary creature to a single colored one this morning as June winded to a close. Some members of the queer elemental community have disparaged the genocidal locus’s problematic…
THE COUCH, MY BASEMENT – Well, my wife found my Moxfield account. And suffice to say, I’m in the doghouse. Says I spend too much time on it. What does she want? Should I not organize my 4,000 decks? I didn’t know having a hobby was illegal.
WASHINGTON DC – Echoing back to the Greek myth from which it took its name, Reflecting Pool has maintained a 100% win rate against narcissists. In its most recent test, the narcissist in question maintained that his Reflecting Pool could tap for blue…
I stare out the window of the mud-caked pickup truck, my transition lenses blocking as much of the sunlight as they can while the endless plains slowly roll by. We’ve been driving for nearly half an hour, because this is the only way for a city girl like me, with…
Redmond, WA — Following the recent announcements of Star Fox (2026) and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (2026), Nintendo announced in a press release to Commander’s Herald’s new, extremely understaffed video games division that they will both be a part of the new “Nintendo: Before You Paid Rent”…
REDDIT – On a popular internet forum known as Reddit, a subsection on the site named r/GirlDinnerDiaries has been growing in popularity, filled with tales of triumph and woe from women enjoying a meal by themselves while discussing various troubles and victories in their lives. A recent entry titled “Not…
New York, NY – Ticker tape shortages put the NBA Champions’ parade in jeopardy until one city game store saved the day with their unsold Spider-Man cards. Said the store, “Take our Spider-Man cards and throw ’em out a window.” Crisis was averted, but questions still arose about how such…
TWO MUST ENTER 2/2 MUST LEAVE – An audience of voyeuristic mutated freaks, also known as the online Magic: The Gathering community, looked on in amazement tonight when Red Pixlh3art rose from the arena of death with the ultimate prize: an underwhelming preview card 12 people will click on…
CHICAGO, IL– BREAKING: The guy to whom you generously lent a deck for FNM tonight has just ordered something called the “Double-Drenched Sicilian Squelcher” off the sandwich menu at your local game store. When asked if he wanted his order “damp” or “sopping,” the guy enthusiastically requested that it be…
Renton, WA — “Hello everybody and welcome to a special episode of Brawl Stars–I’m Amy the Amazonian and today I’m playing with the Brawl format itself!” This sentence is what I and many other Twitch viewers heard when YouTuber and Twitch streamer Amy the Amazonian (she/her/they/them) logged on and began…
