Hibachi Chef Growing Impatient With Commander Pod
BENIHANA, SHORT HILLS, NJ — A hibachi chef reached his professional breaking point on Monday after a Magic playgroup took advantage of a slow night to play Commander at his…
BENIHANA, SHORT HILLS, NJ — A hibachi chef reached his professional breaking point on Monday after a Magic playgroup took advantage of a slow night to play Commander at his…
MAHWAH, NJ — A local game store’s Friday Night Magic was ground to a halt last night after a reanimated Darklight Phoenix revealed some, shall we say, concerning stains on…
Mount Moriah – People. Please listen. Withhold your judgment. Understand that I, Abraham, sacrifice my son upon this mountain for more than one reason. Many reasons, in truth. For I…
Mahwah, NJ – A new AI-powered deck-builder is facing criticism this week, after Magic players say it became obsessed with preparing their decks for one specific threat: carpenter…
WASHINGTON, DC — Senator Mitch McConnell’s long-awaited return from his controversial absence has sparked new debates among Magic scholars this week over what the appropriate creature-type classification should be for…
BROOKLYN, NY- The Magic community is outraged once again, this time in response to revelations that Flock Cameras are tracking and cataloguing players leaving events early because of their piss-poor…
Walnut Creek, CA — A Bay Area rental dispute is turning heads nationwide, as one landlord plans to charge an additional $200 a month table fee for SpellTable and…
Ship Bottom, NJ — Once dismissed as an irrational and baffling business policy, Ogre’s Hole’s strict “No Vegetables” rule has become an unlikely model of public health preparedness and diarrhea…
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — The Herald staff is proud to announce our brand new format, Herald Commander, where all unbans will be carefully selected to be fair, balanced, and also…
THE COUCH, MY BASEMENT – Well, my wife found my Moxfield account. And suffice to say, I’m in the doghouse. Says I spend too much time on…
New York, NY – Ticker tape shortages put the NBA Champions’ parade in jeopardy until one city game store saved the day with their unsold Spider-Man cards. Said the store,…
Surf City, NJ — Neglecting the commander game at hand, three players at a local LGS were instead captivated by the collapse of a 5-year relationship slowly scrolling by, text…
QUEENS, NY — New Yorkers will soon have just one baseball team to root for, as The New York Mets have announced they will cease baseball operations and pivot their…
Manasquan, NJ — Poor, poor JD Vance. Surely there must come a breaking point… Rumors are circulating that Richard Garfield, creator of Magic: The Gathering, could…
Following the absolutely stellar debut of GiGi Wellplayed on the Spell Slayers last month, the staff at The Herald has worked tirelessly, day and night and afternoon, to try…
LOVELADIES, NJ — Wizards of the Coast’s deployment of an AI Voice Mod for SpellTable encountered a small hiccup this week, after the Mod killed itself following an…
BOSTON, MA — St. Patrick’s Day festivities at Murphy’s Game Corner took an unexpected turn for players this year, as they were treated to the sudden arrival of the patron…
VATICAN CITY, VATICAN – Magic: The Gathering and Catholicism. Two cults that don’t always see eye to eye. But on this Ash Wednesday, a new chance has come…
OREGON TERRITORY – The Magic community mourns the loss of a format this week, after Pioneer died of dysentery. “It is with heavy hearts that we…
WASHINGTON, DC – Rejecting demands from Secretary of War Pete Hegseth, Hasbro will continue to sell the iconic Battleship board game with a full rulebook included.
HARVEY CEDARS, NJ – Leaks from the upcoming Magic set have hit the internet, and the hype is real amongst the player base because a new artifact token…