Author Archives: Val


Hasbro Claims Right of Primae Nauctis

Val • July 29, 2026

RENTON, WA — In a controversial move, Hasbro has just invoked the company’s right of *primae Nauctis*, announcing its intention to ring in FY 2027 by getting its Cocks wet.


Cars Once Again Ruin Modern Life

Val • July 8, 2026

NYC — The number of hit-and-runs in Legacy and Vintage continues to reach record highs as The Fantasticar remains street legal. With no clear end to the vehicular violence in…