Washington, D.C. – Former director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, current acting director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and sycophant Kash Patel claimed another investigative victory…
Pawtucket, RI – Gaming company Hasbro has announced that Spider-Man will no longer be coming to any of their board game applications, and will be replaced with newly-popular Magic: The…
Redmond, WA – In response to a recent Tolarian Community College video advertising a new line of college-centric memorabilia, Wizards of The Coast released a video mocking the products in…
Erie, PA – A Commander play group at a local game store collectively worried about a fourth in their group who spent a recent match skipping every “may” ability in…
VATICAN CITY – A Pokemon TCG card signed by the pope has come back from grading, with the rare and unusual grade of 6.66 by the Beckett’s grading service. The…
MANHATTAN, New York – The editor-in-chief of the Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson, released an opinion piece today complaining about the number of cards that have been previewed for the…
SOTHERA, The Edge – Though his name is infamous throughout the system thanks to tales (either real or fake) of his exploits, interplanetary chef Ragost has been living with a…
Foxborough, MA – After sparking controversy for allegedly cheating on his wife at a Coldplay concert, a new video has been circulating online showing Andrew Bryon kingmaking Kristin Cabot during…
Washington, D.C. – Along with announcing that there is no evidence of wrongdoing in the Epstein flight logs, the Department of Justice released a memo “confirming” that Magic:…
Atlanta, GA – According to a report from The Weather Channel, numerous Dark Depths around the country have quickly lost their ice counters…
Toledo, OH – Local card scalper “Honest” Craig Airgap recently went online to declare his disappointment when purchasing a box of cards for resale purposes. Airgap recently purchased two different…
Bloomington, IL – In a surprising update during MagicCon: Las Vegas, Wizards of The Coast revealed that legendary vehicles and upcoming legendary spacecraft can be used as your Commander. In…
Shelton, CT – In a new partnership with game maker Wizards of the Coast, sandwich shop Subway has announced promotional footlong Magic: The Gathering cards. The cards, 8 and a…
Los Angeles, CA – During the unrest caused by their very organization, an ICE Agent stopped at local game shop Freedom’s Banner Collectibles to play some games of Magic: The…
Washington, D.C. – Proving why people question his position in the federal agency, the Senior Chief of Staff for The Federal Emergency Management Agency, Clancy Gumblemann, revealed in a meeting…
Washington, D.C. – United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. released a video claiming that Teferi’s Protection is…
Redmond, WA – In a move many marketing experts are claiming as “forward-thinking” and “genius”, Wizards of The Coast today announced a set of Magic: The Gathering: Universes Beyond cards…
Renton, WA – Thanks to a boom in the collectable items market, a recently fired Hasbro employee is trying to get money for his Beckett-graded firing notice. Clay Richmond, former…
Shreveport, LA – Local tabletop gaming shop Gobin’s Horde has announced that upcoming in-store Magic: The Gathering events will become “rowdy” drafts. A “rowdy” movie screening involves audience members actively…
THE INTERNET – The Commander Rules Committee issued an update to its list of banned and restricted cards. While no new bans were made, some cards were removed from the…
Think Universes Beyond bringing outside IP into Magic is a recent development? Think again.
Unelected Tarkir clan leaders have asked for lists of five things clan members have done recently to fight dragons.
A local Republican congressman is under fire after mistakenly including Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar in a chat discussing highly-classified information.
Regularly confused man Tatum Groy was overjoyed to hear the news that an upcoming Universes Beyond set is the last one Wizards will produce.
Wizards of the Coast and the Commander Format Panel have announced that they are preparing to release a third, even-more-irrelevant banlist.
A local Commander pod was joined by a player wearing a purple cloak and pointy hat who sat down with a deck helmed by Alaundo the Seer.
Musk believes that the interplanar race depicted in Aetherdrift is a real thing and he insists the Cybertruck would have won if it competed.
A local Arena player has had a novel idea for an interesting deck that he's bound to play against nothing but mono red.
