Assassin's Creed Magic Cards to Replace History Curriculum in Some Florida Schools

Jon Ruggiero • March 11, 2024

Tallahassee, FL - In a new business partnership with Hasbro, some Leon County school districts will replace their History classes with packs of Magic cards containing historical figures.

The upcoming Assassin's Creed Universes Beyond set will include cards representing real historical figures, like Cleopatra and Leonardo DaVinci. The cards will be used to teach students and make profit for the schools, according to Leon County school board member Dickson Hodges.

"This is the best of both worlds, academic and capitalistic," explained Hodges while preparing for his district's next book burning. "Hasbro has invested in our schools by giving us the ability to teach in a new and dynamic way with their Universes Beyond cards. They've also invested directly in us, giving Leon County schools millions of dollars in exchange for some new and forward-thinking ideas for our schools.

"On top of that, Leon County children will be the first people to see these new cards. With that early access we'll figure out even better ways to weave the game of Magic into what we teach our students. Using these cards we can further solidify our school's ideals: we're not interested in turning these children into functioning adults, we're just training future consumers."

While the school district gets access to cards and funds, what is Wizards of The Coast getting out of the deal? Wizards spokesperson Trent Crosby explained.

"Though we have worked with schools in the past with our Magikids initiative," Crosby said, "we are excited and lucky to get the opportunity to engage with students in a new way. The fine educators of Leon County have allowed us to decide more than just a curriculum. Wizards now dictates the weekly lunch menu for the students, we are allowed to advertise Magic: The Gathering Arena on the sides of the district's school buses, and we can decide which Bible verses are read at the beginning of classes."

Hodges and other school leaders have been looking to other companies for investments such as this and are close to securing a deal for gym class to be sponsored by Monster Energy.

Escape room designer, comedy show host, satire writer; Jon Ruggiero never misses an opportunity to do weird things for money. He's written for Cracked, Hard Times and Hard Drive, and hopes you enjoy what he writes here.