Mom Tells Child To Pause Spelltable Game

Jon Ruggiero • February 5, 2024

Boise, ID - Local parent Trisha Daplowitz recently reprimanded her son after he did not listen to her request to "pause" a Spelltable match he was competing in.

Daplowitz's son Terry did everything he could to tell her that he was actively participating in a game with living people via the Spelltable internet platform. Trisha did not listen.

"I swear, I don't know what's wrong with kids these days and them not respecting their parents," Daplowitz shouted while scrolling through Pinterest on her phone. "I was talking with Candace, who's Debbie's mom, and she told me that Lawrence's mom Rebecca had to deal with this same kind of stuff, y'know, the backtalk and all, and Angela overheard and rushed over to tell me that James' dad Ramon ALSO deals with this nonsense, and it's like, I'm not asking much, just stop playin' for five minutes to help me get the dang Valentine's Day tree put up, gosh!

"How was I supposed to know he was playing a real guy? I mean technology's so advanced I thought that Terry was playin' against that ChatLGBT or whatever it is, but turns out he's got some fancy set-up so he can play his little cards against other boys and their cards in their homes, no doubt with their own mothers who are underappreciated, it's like what, do I have to have a pile of my own cards just to get him to pay attention? Maybe he'll listen if I 'counter his land' or whatever it is they do."

Terry Daplowitz spoke with us about how this is not a recent issue between him and his mother.

"Look, I spent a lot for this set-up so me and the boys could play Commander over COVID. It's not my fault mom doesn't get it. She's been like this for years, too: back in high school she'd yell at me to stop in the middle of an online Halo match and I'm like 'I know you need help organizing grandma's Precious Moments figurines so you can try and sell 'em on eBay but I can't pause right now'. Everything's gotta be done her way, even if it's not actually possible to do, like when she asked Dad to pause the football game to help her weed the pool."

An incident with a knocked-over camera causing the software to identify Trisha's face as Wort, Boggart Auntie caused Terry to lose all Spelltable privileges until he shovels the driveway.

Escape room designer, comedy show host, satire writer; Jon Ruggiero never misses an opportunity to do weird things for money. He's written for Cracked, Hard Times and Hard Drive, and hopes you enjoy what he writes here.