Magic: The Gathering Announces The One Ring Masters

Jon Ruggiero • October 9, 2023

Renton, WA - Prolific cardboard-printing company Wizards of The Coast announced today a new Magic: The Gathering sealed product made up exclusively of reprints of The One Ring from The Lord of The Rings: Tales of Middle-earth expansion.

Wizards spokesperson Trent Crosby announced the new product via YouTube video that had comments turned off as soon as it was posted.

"We've gone a day without announcing a product, so we figured we'd whet the appetites of our ravenous fans who need new card information daily," said Crosby while being handed information about the next Masters set announcement after this one. "And of course, we've heard the fans' cries for reprints. We get messages about it, we see it in forums; people are loudly proclaiming they want substantial reprints of important cards. What's more important than reprinting a card that's format-breaking and won't receive a ban anytime soon?"

Various versions of The One Ring will be reprinted, from pack-standard to full-art and mosaic-art styles. Crosby then went on to reassure the public that they're including the most important reprint.

"We saw the excitement and fervor of people searching for the single copy of The One Ring written in Elvish with special art. That's why we're proud to announce The One Ring Masters will also reprint the one-of-one serialized The One Ring card so another lucky person can get the experience of opening it and selling it almost immediately to Post Malone for more than $2 million."

The One Ring Masters will have two products: set boosters come with three cards and contain a random The One Ring reprint, an art card, and an advertisement for The One Ring Master's collector boosters, and collector boosters contain The One Ring reprint, an art card, an ad card for The One Ring Masters set boosters, and a foil burden counter.

Escape room designer, comedy show host, satire writer; Jon Ruggiero never misses an opportunity to do weird things for money. He's written for Cracked, Hard Times and Hard Drive, and hopes you enjoy what he writes here.