OPPONENT'S BATTLEFIELD - Salmon & beloved father to thousands Phillip Sherman has raised concerns over the unfair treatment of his family while other animals get to be people. We caught up with the protesting patriarch while he fertilized a riverbed full of eggs in the nude. "What, everyone who goes…
The bipedal pavement sculptor who wandered in front of traffic is presumed to have had amnesia for the 86th time and forgot what crosswalks are.
The British Army has received support from swaths of American citizens clamoring for a return to fascist monarchic rule for some fucking reason. This fervor has the current British Monarch they still have for some reason feeling absolutely giddy.
MOX MANIA - A new, not-at-all shocking report finds that that dude you played against with a precon over a decade ago has never forgiven you for Counterspelling his commander. Dude Berrywidth is currently 29 years old. In the time since your fateful casual…
Cephalids perfectly capture what I love about life in general. No matter how worthless the people in your life make you feel, you can find a home.
“It happened to my girlfriend too but that was after her god damn skin turned inside out. She didn’t leave it in her back pocket with her keys.”
He believes that tutors are unhealthy for the format, Universes Beyond is bad, and that maybe WotC designs too many cards for Commander.
The stats don't lie: If someone thinking about trying the game is shown a Dungeon Descent, they're 70% less likely to become involved.
Organizers recruited Sid Blair, the most talented buttcrack inspector of his generation, to sniff out dirty plays then pull them out root & stem.
If you cast Conquer on a Plains that just so happens to be sitting sort of near someone else who’s already using it, that was clearly unclaimed territory and thus perfectly legal.”
They made some way too self-deprecating jokes nobody laughed and the group just kinda sat there in uncomfortable silence.
The "Tap Land Slasher" has racked up a body count of seventeen while leaving terrible calling cards that really should have been upgraded by now.
For skeletons, I use the person whose face I saw every day for years. The beautiful, ethereal face I see leering into my blackened heart every time I close my eyes…
"We want to keep the game fun for everyone," said Canks. "Except for Kevin. Seriously, **** that guy. Fast mana warps the entire game, and Kevin warps my fundamental belief that human beings are inherently good."
In an earth shattering announcement, Wizards of the Coast has spoiled a new Simic creature that draws an extra card and puts a land onto the battlefield!
"Ever since that tragic day in the alley behind the opera house, I've done everything in my power to ensure the winged rats will never feel safe again."
"The site told me to talk to my babushka and I realized the bottomless hole in my heart "will never be filled with cardboard, only homemade cookies."
