Magic: The Gathering Survey Asks Players Which Content Creators They Suspect Are Communists

THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD – A bizarre questionnaire sent out by Wizards of the Coast last week asked Magic players if any specific influencers affected their views on the Communist Party (and/or the Spider-Man Universes Beyond set).

The question in question uses the acronym Reviewer Entertainer Dissenting Streamer (REDS) as an umbrella term for content creators who have spoken disparagingly of the company’s recent products, as studies/one guy who talks louder than everyone else have shown that not saying nice things about card games is linked directly to the Soviet ideology. It asks if the REDS made you concerned or uneasy about the poorly performing set, and promises to keep you safe from said REDS in the future so long as you stay vigilant and point them out wherever you think they maybe are.

Many have decried the survey as blame-shifting chicanery, but the company remains adamant that this is merely routine data collection (that they’ve never done before).

“Look, we aren’t threatening anyone.” said Wizards PR rep Phejos Carthmickey. “We just want to make a list of specific individuals who share views that don’t necessarily agree with ours, so as to not grant them opportunities in the future. Honestly, it’s pretty easy work. Like half of all Magic influencers have a communist flag in their social media bios.”

When questioned about the ominous document’s color identity, designer Mark Rosewater said that it’s likely some kind of black list.

The company has already brought dozens of suspected REDS before a panel, asking them to rat out their allies in exchange for leniency. Several Commander players remain wary of shady deal making, while others are on board listening to the person who says they’ll keep you alive at one life because being held hostage is cool I guess.

“No no no we love Capitalism!” said Command Zone host Rachel Weeks as a pink suited man with sunglasses glared at her from across the room. “And Spider-Man definitely can’t be interpreted a criticism of that economic system! Nope! Heroes being poor makes sense to me, uh, just like how Squarespace makes website design make sense to everyone.”

In spite of the troubling survey, plans for the upcoming Universes Beyond: The Crucible set with a serialized 1 of 1 John Proctor remain unchanged.