PISA, Italy - This week's Paupergeddon tournament should have been a safe haven for those penniless Magic players Welcome to the Black Parade was talking about. Instead, it's become an…
“It happened to my girlfriend too but that was after her god damn skin turned inside out. She didn’t leave it in her back pocket with her keys.”
She proceeded to gush “Oh my god I can’t believe you’re using Dragon Shields, you are so brave. If I were playing with those, I'd be sooooo embarrassed.”
Wizards was concerned that any other option would result in messages from guys with anime girl profile pictures saying “I’m not racist but…”
He believes that tutors are unhealthy for the format, Universes Beyond is bad, and that maybe WotC designs too many cards for Commander.
The stats don't lie: If someone thinking about trying the game is shown a Dungeon Descent, they're 70% less likely to become involved.
Organizers recruited Sid Blair, the most talented buttcrack inspector of his generation, to sniff out dirty plays then pull them out root & stem.
"I don't know what a Chernobyl but I'm pretty sure this was worse than that. Commet was DCI Banned for two weeks, and I will never forgive myself."
Let’s all touch Harold’s gross-ass Android phone that hasn’t been cleaned since 2018! Who cares what else he uses it for?
The heist was all going according to plan before the crew started copying five different Ocean's movies as well as one Agent Cody Banks.
If you cast Conquer on a Plains that just so happens to be sitting sort of near someone else who’s already using it, that was clearly unclaimed territory and thus perfectly legal.”
It finally happened! The Magic: The Gathering 1994 World Championships has concluded its last Shahrazad subgame after an agonizing 30 years.
They made some way too self-deprecating jokes nobody laughed and the group just kinda sat there in uncomfortable silence.
The "Tap Land Slasher" has racked up a body count of seventeen while leaving terrible calling cards that really should have been upgraded by now.
Company spokesman Norm L. Guy released a statement denying the accusions while an ominous, glistening liquid oozed out of his eyelids.
We paid the .39 cents, that means we get to do whatever we want to them. If I want to reveal them from my turn one hand and out them publicly I should be allowed to. My deck, my rules.
After a commander has been shuffled once or twice, they enter a quantum superposition of always being on the other side of the god damn deck.
Laid off Hasbro employees shocked to discover that 96% of their severance packages were just surplus March of the Machine: The Aftermath boosters.
Upon seeing this, Dichaelis looked down at the 30th Anniversary Mind Twist proxy that cost them over $600 and began to weep.
“If you think about it, the King James Bible was the first errata.” said Fyve between handing out fidget spinner crosses.
For skeletons, I use the person whose face I saw every day for years. The beautiful, ethereal face I see leering into my blackened heart every time I close my eyes…
Commander enthusiast Melanie Grayson made the decision today to scrap her 2011 Mimeoplasm deck and wanted to make their last day together a good one.
"I was gonna run hatebears, but then I realized that'd involve considering my opponents' point of view and I'm really not up for that right now."
We can't see Dr. Manhattan's junk, but right on the main character's face clear as day is my dad sucking my mom's toes.
They keep catering to this casual format, when they should be catering to literally nobody. That's how they made the Reserved List, and that's how they should make everything.
"Mhmm yes I am single legendary creature." Rograkh said while stumbling around in comically oversized sleeves. "Am a goblin with many keyboards."
"Sheoldred, the Apocalypse being a nuisance is far lower on the totem pole than rats swimming in the deep fryer."
