OPPONENT'S BATTLEFIELD - Salmon & beloved father to thousands Phillip Sherman has raised concerns over the unfair treatment of his family while other animals get to be people. We caught up with the protesting patriarch while he fertilized a riverbed full of eggs in the nude. "What, everyone who goes…
The British Army has received support from swaths of American citizens clamoring for a return to fascist monarchic rule for some fucking reason. This fervor has the current British Monarch they still have for some reason feeling absolutely giddy.
MOX MANIA - A new, not-at-all shocking report finds that that dude you played against with a precon over a decade ago has never forgiven you for Counterspelling his commander. Dude Berrywidth is currently 29 years old. In the time since your fateful casual…
PISA, Italy - This week's Paupergeddon tournament should have been a safe haven for those penniless Magic players Welcome to the Black Parade was talking about. Instead, it's become an ideological battleground as 'Pro-Lifers' swarmed en masse to protest the preemptive banning of Cranial…
“It happened to my girlfriend too but that was after her god damn skin turned inside out. She didn’t leave it in her back pocket with her keys.”
Wizards was concerned that any other option would result in messages from guys with anime girl profile pictures saying “I’m not racist but…”
He believes that tutors are unhealthy for the format, Universes Beyond is bad, and that maybe WotC designs too many cards for Commander.
From Apex Devastator’s cascading chaos to a lovely lesson in self-love from Lovestruck Beast, join us for another look at funny Oracle text!
"Sheoldred, the Apocalypse being a nuisance is far lower on the totem pole than rats swimming in the deep fryer."
"Look, do you want to play card games at a table like a loser or with badass holograms?" said Duel Disk inventor and solar elevator salesman Seto Kaiba.
As Orcish Bowmasters dominates every format it's legal in, controversy has erupted and NBC wants a taste of that morally dubious pie.
"I just don't want everyone else looking at me and thinking I'm weird." buzzed Uneasy Sliver through the great hum.
“You wanted me on turn one? Yeah I wanted you to wash your goddamn hands before touching me. Life is full of disappointments."
