Magic: The Gathering Anime Character Injures Arm Using Big Ass Duel Disk

Naomi Krause • September 22, 2023


DOMINO CITY, JP -
 Rowan Kenrith, star of Wizards of the Coasts' new Magic: The Gathering Anime, Wilds of Eldraine: Oko Isekai Elk Harem OVA, has tragically injured her arm after using a duel disk to play Commander with forty-seven permanents in play.

The creators of the device have been scrutinized for the rise in injuries sustained during shadow games due to faulty hardware.

"Look, do you want to play card games at a table like a loser or with badass holograms?" said Duel Disk inventor and solar elevator salesman Seto Kaiba. "You know, these things were really only designed for 10 cards. Trying to play out lands and stuff is a recipe for disaster that voids warranty and absolves KaibaCorp of any liability."

"Who would go to those extremes to play a card game anyways? Now excuse me, I need to duel an ancient demon on top of my blimp."

Rowan raised concerns before strapping in, but says a mysterious beautiful producer lady pressured her into wielding the dangerous apparatus.

"The average Commander game lasts around three hours, which is a long time to hold that cardboard up," said Kenrith from her hospital bed while being drip fed an IV of purified friendship. "Factor in having to yell all of our moves and walk over to see someone else's board state, and it's just not a fun experience."

Doctors also noted that Rowan sustained minor wrist injuries for having to take her cards out to tap and untap them hundreds of times throughout the encounter.

"I just wanted to battle my twin brother to death over the fate of our world; never thought I'd have to deal with this RSI crap."

It remains to be seen whether or not Rowan will recover in time for her penultimate duel, and the Sleep Curse has spread to even more citizens as they sit through yet another goddamn filler episode.



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