Tragic: Warrior Token Doesn’t Realize He’s Only in Deckbox for Treasure on Other Side
HENDERSON, NV — A local 2/2 warrior token reached out to us to announce he’d be making his Friday Night Magic debut this season. After half a decade sitting unused in a box of lands, tokens, and commons, the warrior was finally added to Luca Davin’s token pile for a new commander deck. The clearly excited warrior token seemed woefully unaware that he shared a card with the much more commonly used treasure token.
“I’m not totally sure how this works,” the Kaldheim token shared with us, “but I’m pretty certain I have to disclose that I’m in a deck now. Well, in the deck box, which is basically the same. I know I’m just a token, but I can’t wait to get out on the battlefield and prove I’m just as powerful as any real card. The extra two damage I’m gonna be dishing out every turn might even bump the deck up a bracket.”
Our investigation revealed that Davin’s deck is an Azorius Stax deck helmed by Lavinia, Azorius Renegade, a deck unlikely to utilize warrior tokens. Our suspicions were confirmed when the decklist didn’t include any cards that generate a 2/2 warrior but did include treasure-generating cards, such as Smothering Tithe and An Offer You Can’t Refuse. We at Commander’s Herald didn’t have the heart to tell the poor guy.
“I come from a family of warrior tokens,” he shared in an unprompted follow-up email. “My little brother is a 1/1 warrior in a Najeela, the Blade Blossom deck, and my parents always bring him up when I visit. Well, check out the LGS this Friday, Mom and Dad. Your oldest and strongest son is gonna swing in for lethal every game!”
We reached out to Luca Davin to see if he had any intention of giving the warrior token some playtime. “Oh, I guess that is what’s on the other side of that treasure token,” he told us. “I don’t really do the whole combat thing. Treasure is pretty rad though. I locked the table down on turn four last week with the extra mana. Totally wrecked my buddy’s bracket 1 ‘oops all vanilla creatures’ deck.”
Despite his lack of playtime, sources close to the warrior token say he’s remained obliviously optimistic. “I feel bad for the guy,” a spare sleeve being kept in the deckbox shared. “But I don’t think I can stand to hear him whispering ‘this is the game’ under his breath one more time. Just accept that it’s not gonna happen and enjoy seeing the world outside of your packaging. That’s what I’m doing until one of my siblings splits or gets Mountain Dew spilled on it.”
As of this writing, no decklist changes have been reported, and the treasure token declined to comment on its card-mate’s situation due to a demanding schedule. The warrior token was last seen being offered to one of Davin’s opponents. The opponent declined, stating, “Eh, I’ll use a die. It’s just a basic warrior.”
