Dipshit Gen Z Nephew Starving While Instant Ramen is Only $0.18
Recently, my 25-year-old nephew has been incessantly whining about the so-called “cost of living,” and I’ve just about had it. His social media is full of complaints about skipping meals and not being able to afford to eat out. Ridiculous! It’s obvious that he, and the rest of you Gen Z crybabies, are just being dramatic. To prove it, I hopped on the online marketplace called TCGPlayer to demonstrate just how cheap food really is these days.
Back in my college days, before I dropped out, I practically lived on Instant Ramen, so that’s the first thing I looked up. At only $0.17, it’s even cheaper than I remember. Maybe if you kids weren’t so spoiled by fancy foreign noodle shops with eggs and real meat, you’d appreciate a simple cup of noodles. At more than five a pop, there’s no excuse to order a bougie $30 meal from Burger King on DoorDash.
When I looked at some of the other cheap food available, my blood really started to boil! A Bagel and Schmear is only $0.14. What a steal! Heck, there’s even Carrot Cake and a whopping Three Bowls of Porridge for less than a dollar. So get off my case about that $200 I owe you and try a little responsible spending for once.
The most damning evidence of all was the wide variety of pizzas available, all for under a dollar. An Everything Pizza, an Omni-Cheese Pizza, and even aSpicy Oatmeal Pizza, which I assume is some kind of vegan thing. Sure, the cheese looks a little weird, but pizza’s never been this cheap in my lifetime. You’re welcome, Gen Z.
I used AI to generate a budget based on my findings and learned that Zoomers are just terrible spenders. With meals under a dollar and a house ChatGPT found on the real estate site Metaverse for only $250, these kids should be getting by just fine on minimum wage. Meanwhile, my nephew is making an insanely high $10 an hour, but he’s still bitching about rent prices and not being able to afford to see a doctor. It’s called living within your means! Try it sometime!
With just a little shopping around and budgeting, I’m confident my nephew and the rest of this generation would be just fine. They don’t know how good they have it. Back in 2022, when they were learning woke “math” in high school, Millennials were paying $3 for a dozen eggs. Now a Golden Egg is only $0.30. That’s gotta be less than half of what we were paying per egg.
As a man, I’ve never been to the grocery store, but I’m sure prices must be even lower there than they are online. Maybe I’ll ask my mom next time she brings me my weekly groceries. Of course, she’ll probably lie and complain, too. Boomers are always doing that.
