Bloomburrow Delayed After Truck Runs Over Jace On The Highway

THE BLIND ETERNITIES ROUTE 94 - Our upcoming visit to the charming plane of Bloomburrow is going to have to wait after a five-ton semi truck splattered Jace Beleren across the highway this morning.

The bipedal pavement sculptor who wandered in front of traffic near the 94 off-ramp between Thunder Junction and Bloomburrow is presumed to have had amnesia for the 86th time and forgot what crosswalks are.

Some have speculated that this incident occurred because his foxified brain only knew how to spam uptilt, but others remain unconvinced given his track record.

"I came here after my legacy stock tanked to try and track that dipshit down," said otterish Ral Zarek in an adorable visibility vest while dragging the planeswalker's giblets to the side of the Omenpath. "Figured he and that League of Legends character would be around here somewhere; didn't think I'd find him like this. Dude fought Elder Dragons, Eldrazi, caw blade; who would've guessed that all it took was a sleep-deprived trucker zonked out on speed."

The modified Untethered Express was in the midst of delivering massive Segovian cheese wheels to the blooming plane when the incident occurred.

"He came right at me! It's like he wanted to die," said the gore-splattered driver-turned-pumpkin-carriage-chauffeuring-beaver. "Reckon the dumbass didn't realize it takes a sec to get un boombillowed out here. Roadkill was foamin' at the mouth and somehow still came across as a smug douchebag. Last time I multi-plane drift, that's for sure."

When reached for comment, nobody had much to say since Jace wiped their minds a dozen times over and probably had some brain contingency bullshit prepared for vehicular manslaughter. The exception was one Professor Onyx, who, when informed Beleren jumped in front of a truck for no reason, replied, "Yeah sounds about right."

Given the unprecedented nature of a Magic character actually dying and not being banished to the seeyah later plane, it remains to be seen how long the set will be delayed for.

Speaking of remains, Jace's vulpine innards have been taken to the cutest morgue in the multiverse for processing. Local authorities were planning on adding more road signs to prevent future accidents, but nobody can seem to remember where this one actually happened.