Online Critic Despises Old Shakespeare Universes Beyond Magic Cards

Ashland, OR - Local vocal critic Trent Cambion voiced his displeasure with Magic: The Gathering's Universes Beyond cards, which he claims he's hated since they started doing them in the 90s.

Cambion believes Universes Beyond is not a new fad, but one that has plagued the collectible card game since its inception.

"Look at all you babies complaining about SpongeBob cards," claimed Cambion in the comments on a recent Reddit post. "You stooges wouldn't know a game ruined by an encroaching IP if it bit you on the ass. Magic used to be a great game for four months in 1993. Then the Universes Beyond bullshit really started, with Arabian Nights taking away focus from the well-established Magic lore. You should've heard people complain the second they saw the Aladdin card spoiled; they were rightfully mad that the game they'd loved for a few weeks was ruined by outside nonsense.

"I thought they learned their lesson at that point, but eventually Legends came out, and they were back on their bullshit with those damned Shakespeare Universes Beyond cards, like Boomerang, Devouring Deep, and Wolverine Pack. When will these guys learn that we want real, established Magic: The Gathering lore, not the demented writings of some dude who lived before air conditioning was invented?"

Complaints like this have become more frequent with the current Universes Beyond release schedule, according to Wizards of the Coast spokesperson Trent Crosby.

"Believe me, we've heard people's concerns about Universes Beyond," explained Crosby while sifting through a massive pile of hate mail. "Some are even mad enough to send actual letters to us. What people don't seem to remember is outside IPs have been a part of Magic from the start. Do you know what was printed on the very first test copy of the spell Blessing? Spock, a Star Trek character, making it a part of the first ever Universes Beyond product. Maybe people should remember that before they stop spending money on our game. Please."

At press time, Wizards announced another new Universes Beyond product based off of an animated TV show, even though they themselves cannot seem to get a Magic animated TV show made.