Wizards of the Coast Announce Magic Arena Is Going To Use Unity "Even Harder"

Naomi Krause • September 15, 2023

SEATTLE, WA - In yet another baffling business decision, Wizards of the Coast has released a public statement saying that Magic Arena is going to not only stay on the Unity Engine, but will be doing much more with it.

This news of course comes hot off of the controversial decision of Unity to charge a fee every time someone installs a game that uses the engine; a universally despised and likely illegal decision that no one of sound mind would support.

"We love it!" said Wizards of the Coast spokesperson Charlie Rutabaga. "We're stoked when someone gets inspired by our work. Whether it's a fun indie card game, or a massive corporation seeking to retroactively change a contract just to screw that indie dev over. It's great to see yourself having a positive impact on the world."

Other WotC employees appear to support the decision, according to a survey of one sketchy dude sleeping on the sidewalk in front of their office.

"Think of the download fee like your entry for a Prerelease, except you don't get anything." said the guy after removing the uncut March Of The Machine: The Aftermath sheet he's been using as a blanket. "Actually, I have a knife in my pocket. Just give me your money now, pretty much the same thing."

Unity devs cleared up some confusion by saying that the change will only cost Microsoft and Nintendo, companies with notoriously lax legal departments, millions of dollars per year.

"When you have to pay a fee every time you install a game, just think of it as paying the one for a Rhystic Study tax." continued Rutabaga. "We all know how much fun that is!""

When asked for clarification on what 'even harder' meant in context, Rutabaga shrugged and started developing more Arena cards that don't care about the Reserved List because I guess we could've been doing that this whole time.

Naomi Krause is a weirdo Cephalid lady who writes jokes about card games and desperately craves your approval due to an emotionally abusive upbringing. She also loves crabs!