Fish Being Gifted to Other Animals Pretty Sure This Equates to Human Trafficking

OPPONENT'S BATTLEFIELD - Salmon & beloved father to thousands Phillip Sherman has raised concerns over the unfair treatment of his family while other animals get to be people.

We caught up with the protesting patriarch while he fertilized a riverbed full of eggs in the nude.

"What, everyone who goes on vacation here gets to be a cute li'l fox and eat my kids? I've heard of disaster tourism, but cannibal tourism is something else. Fuck rich people, man. Why do we get treated like a downside while they get to bring their kids to work? My 11,000 babies are the best thing in the world, and I'm sick of seeing them treated like Rainbow Vale."

"You know," continued P. Sherman, "I think the rabbits are doing this to get back at everyone who gets their kids a bunny for Easter then return it a week later. They want to be the ones steering the ship of cruelty instead of breaking its rudder. Everyone's all 'Oh no, don't hurt the baby 1/1 racoon offspring!' then turn around and give my children to a squirrel. In a hat. Squirrels don't even eat fish, they're just dicks."

The problematic keyword phenomenon appears to be spreading, with "Gift an Octopus" popping up as its latest iteration.

"Fish are stupid, but we're actually people," said an 8/8 tentacle guy being ridden and bred by a frog. "Not even just on this plane: my cousin's a Cephalid who wears zoot suits and runs a gang in New Capenna. Here, we're just a commodity for morons to give away as they please. Do you know how much smarter octopuses are than frogs? Imagine you went out of state and started getting traded around like Pokemon cards by toddlers."

P. Sherman was last seen being scooped into a plastic bag and given away as a prize for tossing rings onto a bottle.