Democrat Congressman Puts All Cards In One Pile For Opponent’s Fact or Fiction
Washington, D.C. – As the government begins to return to work following the longest government shutdown on record, many returning politicians are starting up their Magic: The Gathering play groups again.
During a recent game Democrat Senator Corbin Leisch gave his opponent a massive advantage by allowing the player to keep all of the cards revealed during a cast of popular draw spell Fact or Fiction.
Leisch, playing a Norin the Wary deck, was in a pod playing alongside Republican Senator Champ McLincoln, who was playing a bracket 4 control-heavy Baral, Chief of Compliance deck. During McLincoln’s third turn he cast his commander with three mana up. Play passed to Leisch, who played a land and Arcane Signet. As he ended his turn McLincoln cast Fact or Fiction, choosing Leisch. The card instructs players to place five revealed cards into two piles that the card’s caster chooses to draw.
“Alright, I’m going to reveal my cards to you,” explained McLincoln slowly like he was speaking to a child, “and I’m gonna make you a promise. If you put the three best cards I show off into one pile, I’ll choose that, then I’ll help you out in a later turn. I can’t be more specific than that, and I probably won’t help you because I want to win and think you’re a disgusting pervert, but you have my word; scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”
Leisch responded by saying “Oh sure, I’d love to help you out! We can’t do anything properly in this country without compromise, and I know you’ll help me out even though you’ve never done so before. As a matter of fact, why don’t I just give all of the cards to you, so you know how supportive I can be? Then when you return the favor it’ll be extra special because I helped you out so much, and we’re friends now, right?”
While this was happening the other two players at the table, both Democrats, just looked on in horror and couldn’t do anything due to their mana being tapped.
McLincoln, with a wide grin on his face, agreed to the deal, and scooped all five cards into his hand. He then went on to win the game a few turns later with an infinite combo, then went on to win another game later in the night, never doing anything that could be seen as supportive to Leisch. After the game, both senators went on to vote against a bill that would benefit the American public in some way, finalizing their return to work.
