Wizards Warns Play-Doh Secret Lair Will Dry Out If Not Sleeved Properly
Renton, WA – Wizards of the Coast amended a press release today for a new Play-Doh-based Secret Lair product to indicate a flaw with the cards: they will dry out, like Play-Doh, if you leave them unsleeved.
This is yet another issue with recent card quality which Wizards took steps to quirkily address in the updated press release that was sent to everyone on the Secret Lair mailing list.
“After finally seeing them in person, we wanted to let you know about a neat feature of these cards,” said the press release, which wasn’t typed out but hastily scribbled in Crayon. “We have been looking forward to this collaboration for some time, and we’re looking to make a big donation for Extra Life from the sales of these cards. Luckily the printing of this Secret Lair went perfect, with no major issues at all, which is why we’re happy to sell them to you.
“In keeping with the theme of Play-Doh, these cards have a similar squishy texture to the moldable clay of our childhoods. We certainly didn’t spill an entire Prime bottle on all the cards in the production line thus ruining them; we designed them to be like this!”
The cards depict legendary and well-known Magic creatures like Wurmcoil Engine, Academy Manufactor and Greensleeves, Maro-Sorcerer as Play-Doh figures with wild colors, myriad textures, and a sandwich.
“In the same way that Play-Doh can dry out, we advise everyone who purchases a Secret Lair at full retail price immediately sleeve up these cards. Not just a regular sleeve, but you should also get penny sleeves, toploaders, and proxies in case the originals crumble to dust. We also over a suite of brand-new sleeves and toploaders depicting art from the Play-Doh Secret Lair, but the sleeves also tend to dry out and crumble, so plan to sleeve them as well.”
At press time, Rose Art Fun Dough tried in vain to get a partnership with Wizards of the Coast, and will settle for making art figurines for Digimon cards.
