Wizards of the Coast Employee About to Ban The One Ring Dramatically Turns Around and Says, "No"

BEHIND THE FRIEND DOOR I CAN'T OPEN BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY - Head of post-release playtesting Rudl "Rudy" Isi was about to toss The One Ring into the banlist spreadsheet before he changed his mind, creepily smiled, and closed the document unsaved.

The controversial artifact that's become the most played card in Modern has drawn criticism for being overpowered. Senior staff in R&D were told it was fine by Playtesting, but they were all of them deceived.

"When we think about it, it's pretty balanced," said Rudy to himself while gratuitously biting into a nasty-ass raw fish in the breakroom. "It gives us power but slowly drains our life. Very slowly. Problematically slowly. Drawing 3 cards for 1 life is fine; in fact we stapled half of a Teferi's Protection onto it just to be safe."

Rudy was fresh off of saving the format by banning Nadu, Winged Wisdom and had been entrusted with handling the artifact, but the hearts of men are easily corrupted.

Roneld, an intern with a typo on his company ID, was tempted to use the fallen hero's credentials to alter the list himself and save everyone from the evils of a stale-ass format. Now he admits he was zoned out and not getting paid enough to really care.

"Yeah I could've, maybe should've," said Roneld. "But I'm making $10 an hour so Chris Cox can buy a fourth helicopter. Ain't too motivated to go above and beyond in the workplace right now."

The moistened hermit was later fired & arrested for scuttling into work practically naked, strangling his brother in I.T., and throwing away someone's lunch from the fridge. A group of technically illiterate senior employees and their small children have been tasked with righting his wrongs, at least as they pertain to card legality.

Many have suggested it's a pity HR didn't fire him when they had the chance. The department defended themselves in a memo, stating that their hearts told them he has some part to play yet. But mostly they didn't want to pay severance.