Universes Beyond Critic Glad Upcoming Fantasy Set is Final One
Memphis, TN - Local Magic: The Gathering snob and regularly confused individual Tatum Groy was overjoyed to hear the news that an upcoming Universes Beyond set is the last one Wizards will produce.
In reality Groy had misread headlines and believes this year's Final Fantasy set will be more true to its name, being the "final" fantasy UB set.
"Finally Wizards is listening to the real fans who are sick of this stuff," explained Groy on his Substack with three subscribers. "Only one last fantasy-based UB set left, then this horrible experiment can be a thing of the past. Sure, they keep saying things like 'more people are playing Magic than ever before' and 'the Universes Beyond sets are outselling regular sets'. But when will they realize that that's not what real Magic players want? I personally want less people to play so I don't have to deal with new people and learn their names and stuff, and frankly I think my opinion matters more than most.
"Like, honestly, how did they think it'd be a good idea to include popular IPs into a popular card game to buoy the popularity of both? Magic should always just be Magic, keep things separate. At the rate we're going we might get to the point where characters and stories start to cross over. We're like three years out from having Homelander going up against the Phyrexians, or Detective Munch going to Ravnica to solve the murder of Harmony Cobel from Severance. I want to get back to real, original Magic storylines, like War of The Spark: Forsaken, stories I know are already bad."
Groy's manifesto about the horrors of cross-IP gaming continued with him still not realizing that the world-renowned RPG series Final Fantasy would be showcased in the upcoming Universes Beyond set.
"Now all we have to do is wonder what will the final nail in the coffin of UB sets be about? If it's fantasy-based, maybe it's Game of Thrones. It would make a lot of sense: the setting fits well with MTG, there's plenty of named Equipment and legendary characters to portray, and since Universes Beyond ends so badly (and was bad the entire time it existed), that fits well with the last season of Thrones. Or hell, maybe they'll do something stupid and base it on another video game series. But what's a big fantasy franchise that would be a good final Universes Beyond? As of right now we can do nothing but speculate."
After asking us what the article would be about, Groy realized his error and made a follow-up Substack post explaining that he was not going to apologize for his mistake because "that's not something the president would do".
