Thank God: Opponent Is Playing Omnath, Not Omnath, Omnath, Omnath or Omnath

LEAST SMELLY LGS IN TOWN – A tense scene was defused this morning after a player who said they were playing Omnath clarified that they meant Omnath, and not Omnath, Omnath, Omnath or, god forbid, Omnath.

After reverting back to mono green now that pride month’s over, Omnath and their owner dedicated themselves to conserving mana between turns and not doing whatever bullshit Omnath does.

“I’ve always loved Omnath,” said the deck’s pilot Oliver Misquiel Nathaniel. “Storing mana with Omnath is so much fun, way better than spamming fetchlands with Omnath to make baby Omnaths, or trigger Omnath’s three different 4 color abilities, one of which adds green mana, or Omnath’s with 5 colors who adds up to 3 colors. Don’t even get me started on Elemental Kindred Omnath who always runs Omnath in the 99.”

Members of the commander pod were deeply confused, including O.M. Nath’s own brother who pulled out a different Omnath deck.

“I think O.M. Nath is using the mana storing Omnath,” said sibling Omar Nathainel. “But not that mana storing Omnath. Or the Omnath that adds mana with landfall, that’s the Omnath that I’m playing. I think. ”

Even after drawing a Chains of Mephistopheles-esque flowchart to explain the distribution of Omnaths, outside players were hopelessly confused. 

“Ok, let me get this straight. Om. Nath is playing Omnath, not Omnath, meanwhile O.M. Nath is running Omnath. I mean the green Omnath, the mono green Omnath, they’re all green. Ok, I guess that’s a relief. I don’t know if I could’ve handled Omnath or Omnath today. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m having a stroke.”

When reached for comment, Magic: The Gathering designer Mark Rosewater began speaking in tongues before getting back to work returning to Ravnica (not to be confused with Return to Ravnica Ravnica or Ravnica Remastered Ravnica).