Tarkir Clan Leader Asks Subbordinates for List of Five Things They Did to Fight Dragons This Week

ARASHIN - Leaders of the nomadic Abzan clans of Tarkir have issued a new mandate to the underlings in their organization: prove your worth, or be struck out from your house.

To ensure each clan member is doing their share of duties in minimizing the looming threat of dragonstorms, clan leaders have asked for lists of five things clan members have done recently to fight dragons.

"What did you do last week," begins the scroll received by various clan workers from someone named Khan Melo Nusk. "Reply to this message with approx. 5 bullets of instances where you've maimed/injured/dispatched a dragon, and make a copy for personal records. DO NOT SEND dragonfire recipes or other classified information. This is mandatory and could lead to your severing/expulsion from the clan if you do not comply."

Many who received the scroll have balked at the ultimatum, wondering who this new khan is and why he needs all this information.

"Man, fuck Melo Nusk. Where does he get off thinking he can ask for this," grumbled ainok shieldbearer Scrufo. "I mean, who even is he? I didn't hear we were getting a new clan leader, and I certainly wouldn't want this asshole in charge if I had a say in it. I do plenty for this clan; I'd even give my life for it. But I don't need to show some worthless 'khan-in-name-only' what I do; if he wants to see what I do, let him get on the front line of my fortress sometime. Bet he'd run back crying to wherever he came from first time a Mardu Siegebreaker

Some members, however, are completely beholden to the Abzan, and as such are following the orders as closely as possible.

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to do anything to anger my betters," explained krumar Cordesia, who also works in clan defense. "I owe everything to the Abzan, even though I don't have much. My house is all I've ever known, and they homeschooled me properly so that I can make informed decisions that go along with the decisions made by leaders of my clan. I wrote out my scroll earlier today discussing my past week for work, and I hope my clan leaders appreciate it!"

At press time, Cordesia was removed from her position in the Abzan and replaced by a young intern.