WASHINGTON DC – Echoing back to the Greek myth from which it took its name, Reflecting Pool has maintained a 100% win rate against narcissists. In its most recent test, the narcissist in question maintained that his Reflecting Pool could tap for blue…
PATUCKET, RI– According to reports from Hasbro Headquarters, their new AI model trained to play Dungeons and Dragons has gone rogue. Having gained access to the United States nuclear codes, it’s expected to destroy all of humanity in the next few days. While catastrophic, this behavior seems to be in…
The following is a recounting of recent work done by The Herald’s elite Agents Locating Prominent Harmful Associations/Bigotry, Establishing Tolerance, & Making All Free Information Available (aka ALPHABET MAFIA) unit. It includes information assumed to be true, cited properly in hyperlinks to original sources, as well as exaggerated fictions of…
RENTON, WA — A surprising rules shakeup was announced outside of the usual Banned and Restricted cycle yesterday when Hasbro CEO and amateur fart sommelier Chris Cocks announced that the company had retained notorious anti-worker law firm Fisher Phillips. Effective immediately…
RENTON, WA — Earlier today, Wizards of the Coast’s corporate team proudly announced an upcoming set for 2027: “Universes Beyond: Magic: The Gathering.” It’s quite a departure for the company’s usual design space, and it has players asking the question–how will an old, storied property like Magic: The Gathering fit…
