Man Disgusts LGS By Playing A “The Aristocrats” Deck

Erie, PA – Norman Gilbert, a well-known Magic: The Gathering player in town, was kicked out of local game store The Goblin’s Den permanently due to the content of his “The Aristocrats”-themed commander deck.

The deck, filled with joke and banned cards, was created by Gilbert likely to either elicit a negative reaction from the people playing against it, or find camaraderie with others who would play a similar deck.

“Ok, sorry guys, but I have to have a quick Rule 0 convo,” explained Gilbert while pulling out his deck, adorned in ahegao-anime-face card sleeves, and a Yu-Gi-Oh! playmat. “I run a pretty fun Child of Alara deck that uses a couple Un-cards, and I know you might want to reject it at first, but it’ll all make sense when I tell you the name of the deck.

“So it starts with me bending over, showing off my Sol Ring or Lotus Ring to whoever is looking, or I’ll go Spelunking if you ask me nicely. Then I’ll pull out my Disrupting Scepter or Concealing Curtains, depending on how I feel that day. To ramp a bit I like to Turn Inside Out my Basal Thrull, manifesting and stuffing my mana pool, or I’ll “Open the Way,” if you know what I mean. I have an infinite combo with a couple of fingers, a Mana Screw, and a Rod of Spanking.

It’s a real card – I swear!

Also, I’ll admit, I have a few eye-candy cards in here just for the art, cuz my Garth One-Eye goes crazy seeing Kami of the Crescent Moon or casting an Earthbind on an opponent’s commander. Of course I’ll try and annihilate everything you guys own by doing stuff to my own Child: I’ll Saw in Half it, show it my Nasty End, bring out my Beast Within, or Crystal Spray all over a Cleanse; basically anything you could call a Blasphemous Act, I’ll do it to this Child. And I call the deck ‘The Aristocrats!'”

The Aristocrats!

After describing the deck a member of the pod asked him another question and he responded “oh it’s Bracket 2”, and from there Gilbert was promptly removed from the store.