Magic Pro Angers Fans by Keeping Foil Tarmogoyf Token in MH3 Draft

Jon Ruggiero • July 2, 2024

Satire
Tarmogoyf Token satire cover

Amsterdam, NL - During a recent Modern Horizons 3 draft at MagicCon: Amsterdam, a pro player drafted a foil Tarmogoyf

token to the anger and dismay of players watching the event on a livestream

Professional Magic: The Gathering player Michael Bertlong was shown during the second round of a televised draft picking the Tarmogoyf token out of a freshly-opened pack of Modern Horizons 3.


"I know some people have a problem with rare-drafting," conceded Bertlong while petting his newly double-sleeved token like a pet, "But look at this thing, it's beautiful. It's a perfect visual to show how far we've come with Magic cards: it used to be that the actual card version of this was $200. Now we can get our hands on 30th Anniversary Edition-style useless proxy tokens that can't be used in actual play, but still retain their value. I can still find someone here who wants this for like $50! Plus, for all those accusing me of rare-drafting, technically this isn't even a rare, so calm down, nerds."

Fans of the player who watched the events online became incensed with the professional. Viewer GrandeurSux37 said in the video's chat log "wrong move, what a total misplay". Another user named UrzasBrothel said "he's ruining Magic and should be ashamed of himself", and a final commentator named terflo said "you're gonna regret that choice for the rest of your life". Bertlong, still believing it was the correct move, does concede a point to his critics.


"Now, should I have picked the basic Mountain

out of the pack, since it was a land I needed, and technically we're supposed to take the token out of the pack before we start drafting. Yeah, that's true, and it's one less card I need to grab from the land station, but come on, this is a foil Tarmogoyf
 we're talking about here! I'm not missing out on the potential payout I'll get from a collector, even if it means I'll lose respect from my peers who will lash out in vague social media posts."

At press time, a recent post from Mark Rosewater's Tumblr blog revealed that the upcoming Bloomburrow set will have a card that makes Questing Beast

tokens.

Jon Ruggiero

Jon Ruggiero

Escape room designer, comedy show host, satire writer; Jon Ruggiero never misses an opportunity to do weird things for money. He's written for Cracked, Hard Times and Hard Drive, and hopes you enjoy what he writes here.