Cardboard Olympic Beds Made Out of Magic Singles To Prevent Arousal

PARIS, FRANCE - In an effort to curtail the explosion of explosions between athletes the Olympic Village is known for, organizers this year have elected to ship in special beds made out of Magic cards to keep everyone as far from amorous as possible.

Renowned bed designer & sex-not-haver Larry Crumb is confident these arrangements will keep everything platonic.

"You got the fittest people on the planet doing the most stressful thing they'll ever do," said Crumbs. "Outside taking forever to do combat math while your friends say 'it's fine' when it's really not. Of course some debauchery's gonna go down. Hopefully we can restrict it to planechase rather than ass chase" ew naomi don't publish this.

Crumb, a former Disney Imagineer, has taken cues from the park's Cabin in the Woods-esque sensation manipulation. Air fresheners randomly puff out the odor of that one guy from your LGS the store had to put a sign on the door specifically for. Speakers also subtly play audio of a  guy condescendingly explaining what mana is to a woman with 17 Commander decks.

Rooms have also been redecorated with dingy lighting, small, filthy card tables with one leg that doesn't quite lock in place, and a really gross old BCW box from high school that someone should've thrown out by now.

Several Olympians have complained about back issues caused by the cards' lack of balance. While many bemoaned having to sleep on cardboard curled into mobius strips, others were oddly comfortable with the change in furniture. A handful have even sought out bed frames crafted from Modern Horizons 3 cards to enjoy the sensation of getting railed.

"How could anyone get horny about card games anyhow?" continued Crumbs. "Seriously, lemme just google some... oh."