WotC Admits to Designing Cards to Upset Specific YouTubers

Undisclosed Location — A Wizards of the Coast designer has just gone on the record to say that their team does, in fact, purposefully design cards to upset specific YouTubers.

“We just think it’s really funny to upset people whose literal livelihoods depend on our game and therefore have nothing but financial incentive to promote it, even though we don’t have to pay them ourselves,” admitted said designer, after breaking into my house at two in the morning. “After all, The Professor from Tolarian Community College was upset about Universes Beyond: Marvel’s Spider-Man because it was demonstrably terrible and the victim of many corporate fuck-ups. In retaliation for his criticisms, we designed Namor the Sub-Mariner!”

After finding my glasses and turning on my lamp, I saw the designer leaning over my bed like a serial killer, swallowed thickly, and asked, “That’s why? That’s the only reason?”

“Of course,” said the designer. “You think it’s for Marvel fans? Who the fuck remembers Namor?”

After I confirmed that the designer didn’t have a knife or similar, I made him tea and continued our nonconsensual interview. “What other YouTubers are you after?”

“Well, we hate that guy Maldhound because he’s funny and clever,” the designer said. “Fortunately, he’s really easy to upset. All we need to do is keep printing Planeswalkers and basic Forests. But we were really proud of The Pride of Hull Clade because it’s a green card that draws more cards than blue, and Brigid, Clachan’s Heart for being literally a Selesnya version of Gaea’s Cradle.”

I then admitted to enjoying Maldhound’s content personally, at which point the designer glared at me for a full minute, unblinking. The air grew colder, and he asked, “Did Maldhound ever make any videos bad-mouthing Spiderman?”

Dear reader, I value my journalistic integrity. But considering that Maldhound runs a publically-available YouTube channel and that, again, Universes Beyond: Marvel’s Spider-Man was one of the most embarrassing confluences of corporate mishaps in quite possibly the game’s full history, and that everyone knows that, I said that I could not recall one way or the other, and he somehow seemed to buy that.

“Anyways, we really love upsetting our own game’s community on purpose, because it’s funny. Have you seen that new mono-red creature we spoiled for Strixhaven? The thing goes mana-positive with a ham sandwich!”

I asked him what he thought about the general trend of YouTubers expressing discontent over recent affairs–things like the seven sets coming out in 2026 alone, and how many Standard players find that to be unsustainable, or the frustration felt by many when Secret Lair: Dandan sold out almost immediately because it had such a limited run.

“Oh, we fully tune all that shit out,” he replied, with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Impassioned pleas for us to be less terrible really don’t work out. We only watch those ‘content creators’ to see how angry they get when they play against our broken cards.”

As I had at this point managed to gently encourage the designer to begin leaving my apartment, we found ourselves at the door, and asked about perhaps the most politically radical creator in the community currently–YouTuber Spice8Rack. Based on our conversation thus far, I hoped that this designer’s… attitudes may positively change after viewing one of its videos.

“Oh, upsetting Spice is easy,” he replied. “All we have to do is charge money for the cards!”

He closed my door, and at time of posting, I have not yet managed to return to sleep.