Wizards to Repackage French Final Fantasy Cards as Universes Beyond: Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
Redmond, WA - In a move many marketing experts are claiming as "forward-thinking" and "genius", Wizards of The Coast today announced a set of Magic: The Gathering: Universes Beyond cards based on the new hit RPG Clair Obscur: Expedition 33.
Instead of designing new cards, though, Wizards is just producing more French printings of upcoming Final Fantasy UB cards and selling them in a new wrapper.
"The market for French-language cards is smaller than you think," explained Trent Darby, WOTC spokesperson, who wore a beret while talking with us. "Sure there's France, parts of Canada, and other places I'm ignorant about, but they aren't in the U.S. Earlier in the year we had a meeting to find things from other countries' pop culture for Universes Beyond sets. So we thought, what's stuff French people like? Pepe Le Pew was a funny and pretty popular character, Moulin Rouge was a thing at some point, and French fries are great but you can't make a whole set out of potato-based cards...or can you?"
(Ed. note: after saying this, Darby's eyes got wide and he began furiously writing something down on a notepad)
"Anyway, we discovered the huge popularity of this new Clair Obscur game and had to strike while the iron was hot. Now, at this point, everything that isn't American is getting tariffed to hell and we need to save money, so we can't really afford to ship cards to many oversea markets anymore. Luckily we came up with a plan to at least make French cards available in America and make English-speakers want them.
"We at Wizards have seen how popular Clair Obscur is. This wonderful game that came out of nowhere is a gripping tale of people fighting against time and art to save the world and the people they love from utter destruction. It's a tale that deals with suicide and the loss of loved ones, and is one of the more beautiful representations of depression you'll see in gaming, and it deserves to have a Magic: The Gathering set representing it. Unfortunately we don't want to do a lot of work, and Gustave from Clair Obscur kinda looks like Clive, Ifrit's Dominant, so repacking French Final Fantasy cards works for us!"
At press time, Darby sent us a few photos he took with his phone of a Dark Confidant he crudely drew on a potato chip.
