SAG Members Thankful Yet Horrified Rakdos Theater Members Joined Picket Lines

Jon Ruggiero • September 26, 2023

Satire

Hollywood, CA - As the motion picture writer and actor strikes wind down, members of both unions took time to thank organizations that helped assist on the picket lines, including the fiery and bloody theater troupe the Cult of Rakdos.

While the WGA has reached a tentative agreement, SAG-AFTRA is still on strike. Thanks to the addition of the Rakdos members the picket lines are maintaining their strength.

"This was all very scary for us," WGA member Tamsin Dubrair conceded while cleaning gore from their hair, "and I mean both the threat to our livelihoods and the destruction and torture. Sure, the Rakdos are performers, just like our fellow SAG members, and they have every right to be on the picket lines, too. We had some Silverquill Apprentice

writers join us in solidarity, but most of them are just school kids who have better things to do. So we dealt with the flaming hoops, the rusty chains, and the buckets of blood while the cultists protested here. Honestly I feel safer around these guys than I do on some film sets."

Juri, Master of the Revue

and former WGA member who wrote for the last two seasons of Game of Thrones, was happy to bring his fellow performers and torturers together for an important cause.

"We've had just a delightful time on these picket lines," said Juri, punctuating his statement by striking the ground with a flaming whip. "And I'd like to think we're making things better for everyone. I heard a group earlier crying from either laughter or genuine sadness at a set Blim, Comedic Genius

performed. We had Massacre Girl
 throwing spikes and knives into the tires of scab trucks. And of course, yours truly was always on hand to direct the lines, make sure everyone is hydrated, and flay the skin from at least one bystander on a daily basis!"

When reached for comment, the Orzhov Syndicate confirmed they were consulted by the AMTPT on the first draft of their contracts.

Jon Ruggiero

Jon Ruggiero

Escape room designer, comedy show host, satire writer; Jon Ruggiero never misses an opportunity to do weird things for money. He's written for Cracked, Hard Times and Hard Drive, and hopes you enjoy what he writes here.