Magic Pros Caught Cheating at Spellify

Jon Ruggiero • March 15, 2024

Satire
A man cheating at Spellify.

Chicago, IL - A local Magic: The Gathering professional player is under fire for being caught cheating at the new Magic card guessing game Spellify.

Spellify was only released to the public earlier this week and pro Magic players are already finding ways to cheat at the game. We spoke with the friend of one such pro who is believed to be cheating.

"No one's that good at guessing cards," claimed Melinda Marshall, a friend of Pro Tour qualifier Desmond Loup, "but that Dingus Egg

claimed he'd gotten the past week of cards right. Sure he's good at playing the actual card game, but he only started doing that over the pandemic. How in the hell does someone who started playing during Ikoria know what a Contagion Clasp
 is?

"Desmond pulled this same shit when Wordle came out; always posting doctored info in the group text thread to make it look like he'd guessed the word in one or two tries. But we're just playing a stupid game here. Why do so-called professionals have to be so petty when it comes to a simple game?"

News of the game's popularity reached Wizards of the Coast, who had spokesperson Trent Crosby put out a statement in regards to the apparent cheating.

"It has always been important to us that competitive Magic is fair & honest," said Crosby in a post on X (formerly Twitter, formerly a working website), "even when it comes to guessing whether a strangely-colored blob is Ainok Tracker

or Alena, Kessig Trapper
. We're following the conversation & we're starting a process to work with key community members to evaluate policies & rules to ensure the people that actually guessed the card correctly get recognized for doing so."

At press time Hasbro was in contact with Nintendo looking for advice on how to sue everyone involved with making the fan game.

Jon Ruggiero

Jon Ruggiero

Escape room designer, comedy show host, satire writer; Jon Ruggiero never misses an opportunity to do weird things for money. He's written for Cracked, Hard Times and Hard Drive, and hopes you enjoy what he writes here.