Duskmourn Prerelease Kit Includes Polaroid Of You Opening It From Behind

HELP - Wizards of the Coast made a startling announcement this morning that all Duskmourn Prerelease Kits will contain a dusty photograph of the player taken from the shadows just outside of their peripheral vision.

The company attempted to alleviate concerns by saying that a judge will thoroughly explain the fragile barrier between life and nothingness before every event. That explanation apparently comes in the form of an eight-minute animalistic screech in your grandmother's voice, so earplugs are advised.

"We really wanted to get everyone in the spooky spirit," said Mark Rosewater. "But nobody's really afraid of Magic cards anymore. At this point we've stopped at Innistrad and seen vampires, zombies, and homarids over and over again. I figured we'd up the ante and contract your sleep paralysis demons as freelancers."

The company assigned the task of psychological torture to the Modern Horizons team due to their expertise in the field. Head designer Mon Jalkovich was thrilled at the offer.

"During the blue sky phase, a lot of fun ideas were thrown around," said Jalkovich with a math book in front of his pants. "Seeing a home movie of yourself as a child nobody in your family possibly could've taken, tokens with the exact date and time of your death, and just replacing all of the packs with a shitload of art cards everyone else at the tournament insists are normal. All of those were deemed too expensive or impractical (as if we could just give away so many art cards), so we settled on the polaroid. We felt it perfectly rides the line of unnerving but not so traumatizing you won't consume more product."

Some are skeptical of the company's claims, adamant that they won't be shaken so easily. This is in spite of the fact that this article is about to pop up with a screamer as soon as you finish this sentence.

Just kidding, it probably won't.

"Anyways," continued Jalkovich, "For the tougher nuts to crack, we went ahead and sent our team to photograph the front lawn of your parents' homes. We even put you in some of them! Well, not exactly you, but you enough for the family. I'm sure you'll still feel like a big man after seeing the thing wearing your skin giving your mom a hug."

"Constructed players are going to be looking over their shoulder and jumping at the slightest creak in the LGS's oddly beautiful floorboards every step of the event, and we wouldn't have it any other way."

To offset the cost of gold coins needed to appease Charon, ferryman of the River Styx, Wizards of the Coast have slightly lowered Chris Cox's salary. Ahaahahahahaha just kidding oh my god could you imagine? Nah they just changed cards to one-ply.