Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar Upset After Being Added To Hegseth Group Chat
Washington, D.C. - A local Republican congressman is under fire after mistakenly including the author of The Underworld Cookbook
The congressman, Clint Worster of Vriginia, explained to Commander's Herald why the cookbook chef got included in what was supposed to be a secret Whatsapp text thread.
"We switched to WhatsApp after that commie app Signal leaked messages earlier this week," complained Worster, "but, yes, I inadvertently included an unauthorized book writer into a classified message thread. We weren't even talking about anything that important, just how we're going to change the national language of Canada to American once we take it over. It's a dumb thing, it could happen to anyone, but as I am a Republican in no way will I admit fault and instead lay the blame on someone else.
"The only reason Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar was even being talked about is because Peter Hegseth was sharing a new Commander deck he made that involved a lot of discard shenanigans. So I say hey, why not include The Underworld Cookbook and its author, or heck, even just make her the commander. In mentioning her I somehow added her to the chat, which I didn't even know was possible, but again, I am a Republican; we don't know how anything works, so I'm not at fault. Thank you and God bless the USA."
Upon hearing that we would be talking to Worster, Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar used an interplanar Snapchat message to contact us and explain how she felt about the incident.
"Even though I'm amazed this idiot spelled my name right, it's humiliating being dragged into this nonsense," decried Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar. "I don't care what happens in American politics, and I sure as hell don't want to be associated with these idiots. I already spent seven years toiling night and day to make food for a Lord of the Pit
At press time Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar said that this will be the first recipe included in her upcoming cookbook Salt Fat Acid Brimstone: How To Cook Up And For The Denizens of Hell.
