Man Boldly Goes Where No One’s Gone Before: Star Trek Prerelease

MAGIC: THE FINAL FRONTIER– These are the continuing voyages of a guy. His mission: to explore strange new worlds, seek out new playgroups, and boldly go where no Magic: The Gathering player has gone before.

Captain’s Log: Stardate 2026.10

I arrived this weekend at a strange and barren world. Its name: Gertrude’s Gabbing and Gaming.

After receiving reports of a new Magic: The Gathering set, a Star Trek Set, I sought a local game store. I hoped to find prerelease kits, excited players, and fun.

But I found no fun at Gertrude’s. Instead, I found a scene unlike anything my training could have prepared me for. A desolate wasteland. A local game store with not a single customer interested in the latest set release.

Not merely devoid of life, Gertrude’s was devoid of joy, of purpose, of hope for a better tomorrow for the card game that actually has a pretty good original story if you’d all just read them when I send them to the groupchat.

The front counter was unattended. Wooden, decrepit. Overrun with unsold Star Trek merchandise. Scratched into the wood, I spied a message.

“THIS PRODUCT IS NOT FOR YOU”

I pondered on what this could mean. A warning for a traveler like myself?

I trained my gaze on the rest of the store. Star Trek prerelease kits lined the tables nearby. Perfectly aligned, untouched by human hands.

Disturbed by the scene, I Facetimed Leonard, my friend who plays Magic and is in market research or something like that, I’m not sure.

“Leonard, what is your analysis?”

“Captain, this local game store, like many others, is suffering from a complete lack of consumer demand. It appears that many Magic: the Gathering players are uninterested in-”

Before Leonard could finish, I sensed movement. A mountain of unopened Star Trek Collector boosters began to shift, sending packs tumbling to the ground. I whipped out my Taser, setting it to stun, which is the only setting.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

A moan came in reply. A sign of life? 

Fast as I could, I holstered my weapon, and dug through the pile, until I revealed a battered and bruised face. Coughing as they emerged, they introduced themselves as Jann, the store manager. Their depressed visage telling me all I needed to know. And yet, I inquired.

“What happened Jann? Why is your store like this?”

“Star Trek Prerelease. We thought- we thought it would be popular. Like Final Fantasy, or Lord of the Rings. Universes Beyond is good for business! We bought so much product. Too much product… A disaster, hundreds of prerelease kits, unsold, promo cards lost in time, like tears in rain…”

“Get a hold of yourself, Jann! That’s Blade Runner, not Star Trek!”

“You’re right… I’m sorry, this set, it’s just so bad. Badgey… Naked Time… I fear I’m losing my mind.”

“Get a grip, Jann! Surely one bad set could not lead to all of this destruction?”

“No, not exactly. Spider-Man and Turtles, they were like this too. But this is- something else entirely. And it’s not something we did. Hundreds came out for our Bloomburrow prerelease, more for Lorwyn Eclipsed. Even Reality Fracture did pretty well. But this weekend? Not a soul attended.”

“Are you saying people would rather play with raccoons, or faeries, or the deranged indulgence of game designer narcissism than with cards from the corpse of an IP so thoroughly strip-mined that even its own fans feel a bit embarrassed to admit they’re excited?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Dear God.”

Sympathetic to Jann’s plight, I considered purchasing a pack, if only to create an illusion of public interest in the set. But as I picked up the pack, I remembered the Prime Directive. I cannot interfere. Also, my wife has me on a budget. 

As I returned the pack to the pile, Jann collapsed to the floor, sobbing. 

“Damn it Jann, get ahold of yourself, you’re a manager! What about the other LGS’s around here? What would they say?”

“The same. All of them. All over the city… All… empty.”

“By God, a total wipeout…”

“A complete catastrophe. We will all die, buried in product nobody wants. It’s hopeless… What can we do?”

“Well Jann, you can always look on the bright side.”

“What’s that?”

“At least you won’t have to deal with scalpers.”