Video Shows Astronomer CEO Kingmaking HR Supervisor in Commander Game
Foxborough, MA – After sparking controversy for allegedly cheating on his wife at a Coldplay concert, a new video has been circulating online showing Andrew Bryon kingmaking Kristin Cabot during a recent Magic: The Gathering game.
Bryon, the CEO of confusingly-described infrastructure management company Astronomer, was playing Commander with Cabot, Astronomer’s HR supervisor, and two other employees at the company offices after-hours.
“Oh, well if you’re gonna swing at me, then fuck you,” yelled Bryon in a video taken from someone who was filming someone else’s camera phone that was recording the event. In the game, Bryon’s opponent, Astronomer’s Head of R&D Milo Xyloto, was playing Phylath, World Sculptor and just cast a Craterhoof Behemoth with plenty of Plant tokens on board to attack and eliminate Cabot and put Bryon in a tricky position. Impressed with his attack, Milo began filming.
After yelling to start off the video Bryon, playing Teysa, Orzhov Scion, sacrificed his entire board after blockers were declared to wipe out most of the creatures attacking Cabot. This allowed enough previously-non-lethal trample damage to get through and eliminate him. The fourth player, VP of HR Alyssa Stoddard, watched the entire thing happen with a shocked expression.
After the play, Bryon realizes he’s being filmed and ducks out of the shot while Cabot blushes and turns away. “God dammit, Milo, turn that off! Megan doesn’t want me playing Magic anymore! She’s gonna be pissed if she sees this…” Cabot then responds, “Look, Andy, don’t worry, ignore the video, Milo will delete it, [looking right at the camera] right Milo?” The camera then nods. “Besides”, Cabot continues, “we’ve got more important things to think about. Remember, we’ve got that awesome Coldplay concert in a few days, that’ll be fun, right?” Then the video abruptly ends.
When asked about the newly-released video, Coldplay lead singer and front man Chris Martin explained that he’s disappointed but not surprised at what he saw.
