Tips: How to Repackage Leftover Draft Chaff for Trick-or-Treating Children
Once again, spooky season is upon us. Not because Duskmourn: House of Horror was just released, but also because Halloween is coming up. While many of us Magic players have fond memories of Halloween, of dressing up to trick-or-treat around our neighborhood and come home with our bags of ill-gotten gains, now, as Magic-playing adults, most of our money goes to our card game obsession; I myself have a one Nightmare Bundle-a-week habit so far this season.
Having to shell out cash to give free candy and treats to some dumb kid dressed in a store-bought Bluey costume just because they walked up to my front door and kind of asked nicely is way too much to ask of us. Luckily, I have a solution that can benefit all parties involved: give out useless and unwanted Magic cards for Halloween!
We all have, somewhere in our home, a stack of cards that we have no intention of doing anything with. Whether it's the foil rare you first-picked in an Outlaws of Thunder Junction draft that you'll never use again, or a last-picked Fear of Lost Teeth from that draft where black was wide open, you probably have an overabundance of cards that you should get rid of.
What to do with them? Scour through them to find a few 35-cent uncommons to sell to your LGS? Donate to some charitable cause? Ew, no, don't do that, we have way better ways to use them. As a matter of fact, here're three ways to repackage leftover draft chaff for trick-or-treating children:
- Rubber-band them together
Simple, no-fuss, and embraced by garage-salers the world over, rubber-banded bundles of Magic cards are a great way to get rid of many unwanted cards while making the recipients think they could potentially get something good. We, of course, know they won't; if they get a rare at all, it'll be something like Dissection Tools, which is also pretty scary. You will unfortunately have to buy the rubber bands, unless you still have that rubber band ball you made in the sixth grade, but it is a relatively cheap option. Plus, should the decks of cards get violently thrown back at your house by pranksters, you'll be protected since they're wrapped in rubber! - Claim they're cards from new set Universes Within
While the children you attend to on Halloween night may not care about the current Universes Beyond controversy, there's a chance their parents might. Trying to reach the youth is useless nowadays; what the hell does fanum tax even mean? Luckily we can appeal to the parents who don't want to sit down at the Commander table to fight against Squidward and Captain America. By telling them that the cards you're giving away are Universes Within, those parents won't throw the cards back in your face, and instead you can have an enjoyable night of remembering when Magic: The Gathering wasn't Fortnight. - Make high-fiber protein bars
In my youth I would watch a reality TV show about the hijinks of a family from a small American town called Springfield. While they all had a terrible disease that colored their skin yellow, I was intrigued by a food stuff from that show. In the episode "King of The Hill" (not to be confused by the docuseries about a small-town Texas family), father of the family Homer Simpson manages to climb a mountain thanks to Power Sauce bars, a protein bar that is revealed later in the episode to just be mashed-up apples mixed with shredded Chinese newspapers. Since Magic cards are also made of paper, a simple variant on Power Sauce bars (Planeswalker Spark bars, maybe?) can be made with some commons, some apples, and a blender, then given to the little ones pestering you for a hand-out on Halloween night.
