Richard Garfield to Replace Chris Pratt in Sequel to Garfield Movie
The Garfield Movie was released to harsh critical condemnation in May of 2024. Hoping to change course, and find an actor capable of more fully embodying the character, Sony Pictures have recast Chris Pratt's role in the film's sequel.
With Andrew Garfield no longer taking any calls from the studio, and James A. Garfield having been assassinated in 1881, notable game designer Richard Garfield was chosen to play the iconic orange cat.
Richard Garfield is the designer of many celebrated games, including Bunny Kingdoms, Magic: The Gathering, and the official Xena: Warrior Princess card game. He also designed Artifact. Doctor Garfield is not known to have any prior acting experience.
When approached for comment, Garfield (the person, not the cat) described how the offer initially bemused him. He stated: "I don't particularly like lasagna, and to be honest I've always thought that Mondays were basically fine."
After wearily rubbing his temple, and letting out a deep sigh, he continued, "But then I figured that in a world where my lovingly crafted fantasy card game features the Battle Bus from Fortnite, nothing is sacred, and I may as well enjoy myself."
Executives at Sony Pictures are allegedly abuzz with excitement, believing that Garfield 2 has the potential to rival Morbius, their previous magnum opus, which famously made 11 quintillion dollars on its opening weekend.
Doctor Garfield is not the only Magic: The Gathering personality attached to the project.
Given his prior writing experience on Roseanne, Mark Rosewater was approached to join the writers' room for the second Garfield movie. It is believed that Rosewater signed on with the film, but on the condition that the film include an extended subplot involving squirrels.
Reportedly early recording sessions have been going well. The mind behind Magic offers a world-weary and jaded take on the ginger feline that only a mathematician who has spent one too many sleepless nights writing about combinatorial numbers can provide.
In lieu of payment for taking on the role, Richard Garfield has instead been granted the rights to design Garfield-based tabletop games in perpetuity. Garfield: the Garfening is set to release alongside the movie. The game will feature nuanced and complex mechanical systems for destroying furniture and for sarcastically monologing internally.
