Peter Parker Priced Out of Spider-Man Set
New York, NY– Daily Bugle photographer Peter Parker recently sat down with us to discuss his disappointment over the pricing of Magic: The Gathering’s upcoming Spider-Man set. Known for taking photographs of New York’s own wall-crawling hero, Parker is feeling left out by the price increases. As a creative living in one of America’s most expensive cities, he claims that he simply can’t afford to splurge on the Universes Beyond set.
Perilously Pricey Products Perturb Peter Parker
“I’d love to get my hands on Rent Is Due for my Oswald Fiddlebender deck, but my actual rent is due. Overdue, actually,” the photographer told us with a nervous chuckle. “Plus, it would be neat to have cards of mys- uh, my sometimes associate, Spider-Man. But I guess it just isn’t meant to be. I saw collector packs going for 80 bucks online!”
Parker says local prices aren’t much better, “Usually I support my local shop, Friendly Neighborhood Comics and Cards, but I think I’m gonna have to sit this set out. They told me that Pre-Release is going to cost an extra $20 for this set. Sure, I could win prizes in theory, but with the old Parker Luck I don’t like my odds.”
The Underground World of Villany Responds
Parker also claims that the villains of New York have been reacting to the price hike. “Spider-Man tells me Shocker has been obsessed with the set ever since they spoiled Shocker, Unshaable. Spidey caught him with blueprints planning a heist and thought he was going to rob a bank. Turns out it was the floor plan for Mark Rosewater’s house. Not really sure what Ol’ Quilty was planning to do there.”
“Then, last week I got photos of Spider-Man busting an underground factory making counterfeit foils of The Soul Stone,” Parker shared. “Some high-power lawyer got them off claiming they were just making proxies for their Commander decks. Personally, I think they were working for Kingpin.”
With Great Sales Comes Great Responsibility
Looking out the window Parker got teary eyed as he told us, “Before he died my Uncle Ben taught me to always look out for the little guy. Sometimes that means fighting to protect your city, even if it means missing out on Friday Night Magic three weeks in a row. Sometimes it means enforcing a reasonable MSRP for your card game. I’d hate for my uncle to see what Wizards has become with the success of Universes Beyond.”
Wiping a single teat from his cheek Parker gave a grin and reassured us that, “It’s not all doom and gloom. I mean, Christmas is right after the set. Maybe my Aunt May will get me some packs. Plus my boss J. Jonah Jameson pre-ordered a bunch of boxes so he could turn the Spider-Man cards into a custom dart board. Maybe he’ll give me his chaff as a Christmas bonus.”
Our interview with Peter Parker came to a sudden end after he got a strange look on his face and rushed off, claiming he just remembered he was supposed to meet with his on and off again girlfriend Mary Jane. In a strange coincidence we spotted Spider-Man fighting The Vulture outside our office windows less than a minute later. The avian themed super-villain seemed to be holding a print sheet stolen from a TCG print shop.
