New Study Finds Dice Jails Don't Prevent Future Botches

A new study from The Coalition to Reform Incarceration Tactics (CRIT) has been declared a major victory for those who oppose the current dice jail system. Dice that roll natural ones are typically sent to custom prisons where they are isolated from the larger dice society, sometimes for several consecutive sessions. CRIT's study finds that jailed dice are just as likely to botch again as all other dice. 

Dice Jails Are 0% Effective On Average

The groundbreaking study found that when rolling a twenty-sided die, players had a one in twenty chance of rolling a one across the board. CRIT found that there was no statistical difference between a D20 that had been jailed and a new die with no criminal background. This high recidivism rate counters claims that the dice jails work as rehabilitation. The consistent 5% botch rate also seems to counter popular botch deterrence theories. 

"It's almost like there's some immutable law that makes botches happen 5% of the time no matter what you do to the dice," says Dice Behavioral Expert, Dr. Andrew Matheson. "We still don't understand why dice commit botches at this very specific frequency, but one thing is clear: dice jails simply don't work. We need to rethink the entire carceral system for dice." 

Tabletop justice reform activists are rallying behind the new study. "Even if dice jails worked, they're inherently inhumane," says Jay Summers, "but this study proves that they don't even prevent future botches. We should be focusing on rehabilitating these dice. Helping them learn to roll higher numbers or getting them into rehabilitation programs. Not just throwing them in little plastic cages we buy on Etsy and leaving them to rot." 

Dice Jail Advocates Claim The Study Is Flawed

While the study is being hailed as conclusive proof by some, others refute CRIT's findings. "What the study fails to account for is that they send a message to other dice," says Jail Dice advocate Philip Thornton. "You let the D20s get away with whatever they want, and the next thing you know, the D6s and D8s are rolling nothing but ones. It would be anarchy. And I'm not just saying that because I happen to be the CEO of a company that makes dice jails." 

Others claim that CRIT's findings actually support calls for stricter punishments. One anonymous player who supports the death penalty for dice says that imprisonment simply isn't enough of a deterrence. "Player-sanctioned violence is the only way to deal with scumbag dice. I'm not saying any die that botches should be melted down, but the repeat offenders? Break out the blow torch and show them a little frontier justice. That'll make the other dice think twice before they make me fail a save." 

Dice Truthers Have Also Latched Onto the Study

Another group that has become particularly interested in the CRIT study is the fringe group of conspiracy theorists, often called dice truthers. They claim that the consistent behavior of dice is due to their status as inanimate objects incapable of hostile intent. While most Dungeons and Dragons players find this belief absurd, it has a sizable online community. 

"I'm not surprised by the stats at all," Says noted dice truther Demetrius Lee. "It's basic probability. Players get mad when the game doesn't go their way, so they blame the dice just to have something to blame. But it's pretty wild to think the dice are doing it on purpose. People do know their dice can't think, right?"

An Ongoing Debate

Despite CRIT's shocking findings, players of Dungeons and Dragons remain divided on the issue. Recent years have shown some changes in dice justice reform, but advocates claim there's still a long way to go. Meanwhile, private dice jail corporations have continued to report record-breaking profits.