My Boss Spoiled This Card in 2017, So I'm Spoiling an Embarrassing High School Photo of Him

Jason E Alt | By Edith Alt

I was elated when I finally got my own spoiler card, only for it to be a reprint in an overpriced set that my boss, Jason E Alt, already spoiled when it originally came out, so instead of writing a thought-provoking deck tech on this hotly anticipated legendary creature, I decided to contact Jason's mom, and she was able to obtain an exclusive developer pic that you'll want to see.

Edith was kind enough to grace our website with a never-before-seen vintage Jason from the Smash Mouth Secret Lair of 2001.

Unfortunately, it's difficult to make out the imposing figure since he's wearing run-down early 2000s diner seat camouflage. If you need to stop reading and stare at it for a few hours, we completely understand. Here, I'll show it to you a second time so you can truly bathe in its probably smelly splendor.

You may be thinking that a gray tie with gray shirt under a gray blazer is a little too forward for our stereotypical MTG finance bro, but it's actually clever foreshadowing of the first Devoid card a short while before Ghostfire released in Future Sight. It even has two red color pips hidden in his eyes. Bravo, Edith.

While upon first glance that may appear to be his trademark Barbe De Cou hair gel, keen-eyed players will no doubt recognize the rivers of sweat emanating from his forehead that actually created about 90% of the self-sustaining moisture.

Oh, and also here's the legally required actual spoiler card that's a powerful value reprint whatever. I put The Picture in between the different Commander Masters versions just to be safe. If you want to add that to Mythic Spoiler or whatever too, that'd probably be for the best.

Razaketh, the Foulblooded lets you tutor out combo pieces, play Shadowborn Apostles, or just slots nicely in your Demon typal decks. Who cares, let's talk about those sideburns.

(NOTE: This article was written with Jason's express permission, and he's a wonderful person. The demon made me do this. And thank you Wizards of the Coast for the spoiler card!)