Excavation Team Prepares Rescue Op for Commander Accidentally Shuffled into Library

PEGASUS GAMES, WI - Tension grips the community of a thriving local game store after Zopandrel, Hunger Dominus

"Well, we certainly have our work cut out for us," said expedition leader Grause Diggersburn Sr. "It's a classic tuck rule conundrum. That there is a thick, double-sleeved, hundred-card Commander deck with chea-pass sleeves that make shuffling feel like rubbing sandpaper. They did a half-assed job at wrapping her up, too. Can't say I blame them, double-sleeving a deck takes forever. Just hope their lack of structural integrity doesn't cost us a friend."

The tragedy began after a heated game of EDH where one Bailey Lynch mind-controlled a creature, then mutated it 30 times to win like a fucking asshole. Zopandrel's owner was reasonably frustrated, and shuffled her commander into the deck while fuming over a children's card game.

Crews have made several unsuccessful attempts at retrieval, ranging from looking through the library to playing 100-card pickup on the filthy LGS floor to "fuck it, look again, it has to be in there".

"Sad to say, we may never find them," butted in physicist Bill Pill for some reason when we really didn't want to talk to him. "Statistics show after a commander has been shuffled once or twice, they enter a quantum superposition of always being on the other side of the goddamn deck than where you're looking."

Miraculously, as our interview was wrapping up, Zopandrel, Hunger Dominus

UPDATE FROM 22 MINUTES LATER: Fuck.