Every Version of Oko Ranked by How Quickly I’d Let Him Elk Me

As Magic: The Gathering’s number one thirst trap, Oko has warped the game’s horny meta. Perfectly uniting the hunk green archetype with the blue twink identity, he’s the ultimate fae fantasy, particularly for queer Magic fans like me. With his thinly veiled kinks and proclivity for transmutation magic, his existence begs the question: “Would I let Oko polymorph me for weird sex stuff?” The answer is yes. Nevertheless, certain versions of the character would have to put some effort into seducing me first.

Oko, the Trickster

This may be a controversial first choice, but this is the only version of the fae trickster I wouldn’t immediately fall hard for. With the smirk and the magic BDSM flogger, he’s just trying a little too hard, y’know. I get peacocking, but it feels a little sad when the hottest guy in the multiverse does it. Yeah, I’d go back to his forest, but only after he let me do shots off his abs.

Oko, Shadowmoor Scion

Oko is an obvious switch, but the dualistic nature of Lorwyn split that identity in two in his latest appearance. As his green half, Shadowmoor Scion, is the shapeshifter’s top-coded and hunky shadow self. If that’s what you’re into, that’s fine, but you already have Garruk to lust after. This Oko is just too gym-focused and dominant for me. I’d let him polymorph, but regret it the next day when he’s waking up at dawn to work on his abs. 

Oko, Lorwyn Liege

The pure blue twink version of Oko is more appealing to me than the green half. Some of that is preference, but unlike hunks, Oko doesn’t have much competition in the twink space. No one’s taking Jace, Cunning Castaway pack one pick one when Oko’s in the mix. I think this version of Oko might be more into me, polymorphing him if I’m being honest. 

Oko, Thief of Crowns

The original version of Oko remains one of his best. Effortlessly balancing that dagger, leaned against that tree all nonchalant. Oof. Then he got banned from all those formats, making him a certified bad boy. I’m ignoring every single red flag and letting this Oko turn me into an Elk, or a changeling, or whatever it is he’s into. 

Oko, the Ringleader

People complain about hat sets, but how can a set that gave us campy cowboy Oko be bad? He’s playful. He’s sexy. He’s fun. He’s sexy. He’s Oko at a Halloween party, and I’d shamelessly beg him to polymorph me the fuck up.