Elon Musk Gets His Mom to Ask Wizards to Unban Jeweled Lotus
Boca Chica, TX - Local entrepreneur Elon Musk recently caused a stir in the Magic: The Gathering community when his mother announced she would be campaigning on his behalf to get formerly banned cards unbanned.
Maye Musk is the mother of multiple company owner Elon Musk, and she discussed the ban and her attempt to repeal it on social media site Twitter (known to few as X).
"It is time to stop these nonsensical bannings," crowed Musk through her Twitter account. "It's clear that the Democrats who run Wizards are using everything in their power to take down good people like my boy Elon. He, along with many other fine players, just want to have the chance to spend the most money on cards, meaning that they're the best Magic player because they have the most expensive cards.
"It's how it works in reality, so it's how it should work in fantasy card games: whoever has the most money is the best person. If my sweet sweet Elon wants every card in his deck to be foil and full-art, or if he wants to spend the money to put format-warping cards like Jeweled Lotus and Dockside Extortionist in for at least $50 per card, no one should be able to say he's not allowed."
Elon himself posted a video pinned to the top of his Twitter (kinda known as X) profile, explaining why his mother is interacting on his behalf.
"I'd like to thank my mother, Maye, for her work on this important campaign," explained Musk while dressed in what looked like an expensively made Jace cosplay outfit. "We, the oppressed and silent majority, need to speak out about these egregious bannings in Commander. Everyone deserves to play the cards they own and lose to people that have bought cards that their opponents can't afford. Regulations don't work in the real world, and they're just as useless in a card game, so we must stop these bans now with the help of all of our mothers since they're the best people in the world."
After this article was published, Elon visited his mother and fell asleep in her loving embrace, both content in the knowledge that they're still filthy rich.