Chinese Reality Fracture Packs Full Of Gay Skeletons
Rainbow skeletons art by moveslikekeef
BEIJING – In a shocking upset, traditionally strict Chinese Censors have seemingly overlooked a massive number of skeletal LGBTQIA+ Magic: The Gathering cards included in the upcoming Reality Fracture set.
With a proud history of removing skulls and bones from every possible image, sometimes with Photoshop jobs that make my headers look like masterpieces, it came as a surprise to many how many unambiguously homoskeltual jesus that sucks naomi delete this part spooky cards were printed unaltered.
“Even if they haven’t cracked down, gaming companies usually just censor their own work since the review process is a lengthy pain in the ass.” said a nervous Wizards of the Coast localization specialist replacing Drill Bit with a confetti cannon. “So it’s not ‘officially’ off the table but c’mon. Printing a Zombie Dinosaur would jeopardize thousands of jobs and could ignite a worldwide economic collapse, and that’s a risk we just can’t take. If that dinosaur was eating a lesbian, dear god. The nuclear holocaust could be mere inches away.”
Reality Fracture’s mainland Chinese release in general came as a surprise given the subject matter of people banding together to defeat a deranged dictator attempting to distort perceptions of the world, but apparently they were too distracted by the coolest character getting a generic ass five color commander card. Nobody tell them she’s kinda trans.
Notable chase cards from the set include Time Walk with those two dudes holding hands, Run Away Together getting another god damn reprint, and of course Tinyboner.
The CCP’s official stance is to label queer groups as foreign influences undermining the country’s sovereignty, to which my nonbinary roommate who spilled soup all over their Tajic deck last week wholeheartedly agrees. The party appears to have focused efforts elsewhere, releasing an official statement this morning condemning god packs. Not for any flimsy totalitarian justification mind you, they just look dumb.
Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle was also reprinted in the localized set with fresh art that looks suspiciously similar to Taiwan, but the land still isn’t legendary for some reason.
