Taylor Swift Secret Lair will have 30 Exclusive Variants of Scornful Egotist
Original Painting by vadimdolgovart
SEATTLE, WA – Wizards of the Coast is proud to announce its collaboration with one of the biggest richest pop stars of our time: Taylor Swift.
Swifties have deep pockets which is exactly the kind of demo WotC is targeting next. Cultists with blinders on who find their attachment to Taylor Swift like its a subscription service siphoning many digits’ worth of dollars from “music” fans to own different skins of the same album really got the Secret Lair team thinking.
Jessup Hambone of the Secret Lair team shared the following with me on a call while walking his taxidermied Otter: “With Hasbro breathing down our necks about quadrupling our earnings every week, we’ve turned to studying cultural touchstones with private jets to deliver a product that only the die hards will want. We landed on Taylor Swift because megachurches and evangelism don’t quite work with us.” He paused for a moment and followed with “And yes, calling the marks for this ‘die hards’ is absolutely part of the plan.” By dedicating this product to the die hard fans, Jessup and his team have found a way to dial up the FOMO on Magic‘s most vulnerable whales and Swifties alike.
Mark Rosewater, who doesn’t work with Secret Lair normally, was brought in to address this product as the most trustworthy and beloved face of the game. Through jaw tightness you can see and hear, Rosewater commented on the Lair drop, “We really wanted to capture just how much Taylor hates – I mean, loves her fans and the overlap with WotC being ‘bleeding our fans dry, it felt like a natural fit’.” Mark continued, “In highlighting the self-awareness seemingly lacking in Swift’s most recent release, we’ve leaned in with our choice to only include Scornful Egotist in the drop, for $50. There are 30 different arts for the card throughout all the Taylor Swift drops and some will come with a single bonus card from a list I’ve put together myself.”
The list is as follows:
Greed, Brazen Collector, Tax Collector, Pirated Copy, Seething Song, Swan Song, and Musician.
Only one in 100,000 Taylor Swift Secret Lair drops will include the bonus card and in fact, Jessup Hambone disagreed with their inclusion. “Imagine that you finally receive your playsets of 30 variants of the Taylor Swift Scornful Egotists to play and show off and you open your Secret Lair packaging to find…another card? This isn’t what you wanted! You wanted just the one thing, over and over! That’s the T-Swift way! Now, you have this extra work of sorting and the burden of sleeving these cards? Frankly, I’m appalled. I wouldn’t want to have that happen when I spend $6000 on this (before shipping).”
Fans will remember WotC releasing this exact Secret Lair before, but this is Taylor’s Version.
