REPORT: MOHELA to Allow Magic Players to Take Out Student Loans for Strixhaven Cards

Chesterfield, MO – Through a message sent to its leadership, it’s been revealed that the Higher Education Loan Authority of the State of Missouri, known as MOHELA, will begin lending money to people interested in purchasing cards from the upcoming higher-education-based Magic: The Gathering set Secrets of Strixhaven.

The move, a first for the federal student aid granter, will allow Magic fans to take out microloans to pay for card packs, and repay them at a later date with the best pulls from their packs.

“We are, in an first-in-industry move, getting into the secondary card market,” explained MOHELA spokesperson Dale Jager in a leaked inter-office memo. “We’ve found a fun way to do so while emboldening consumers and allowing them to get the same educational finance services we’re known for. We can allow thousands of consumers to get an education on how people that run companies don’t care about them, we only care about the capital they can provide.

“While it may seem risky to lend out money to these folks, the returns we get will be fantastic. Every rare and mythic rare opened will be sent back to us, graded by Becketts, then returned to us to double or even triple the return on the loan investment when we sell them. We all know playing cards are best when kept in protective plastic that makes them nearly-impossible to play with, and so will our loanees.”

Many Magic: The Gathering players are saying that they will take out these loans to get free cards regardless of where the expensive cards go.

On the Reddit forum r/MTG rumors, where the MOHELA memo was leaked, users indicated they’d be signing up: “hell yeah, free car pulls?” said user BrokeasJoke. “even if i don’t get them, it’s about the experience of opening super-rare cards for free! plus where the hell am i gonna even play these cards: no lgs near me fires standard events and all my commander decks are TMNT-based”. Another user name Grinchbeard said “This is just scalping FOR a major company, please don’t do this” to which BrokeasaJoke responded “man fuck scalpers, if this means less of them i’m all for it”

At press time, Tolarian Community Academy announced they’d be offering scholarships for their upcoming semester in an upcoming Whatnot stream.